


Angelheart and Dragonfire

by SuddenlySardonyx, ValjarIII



Series: Of Dragons and angels - A Jasper AU [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Conflict of Interests, Epic, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-10-27 19:06:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10814922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuddenlySardonyx/pseuds/SuddenlySardonyx, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValjarIII/pseuds/ValjarIII
Summary: In war you learn to detach really fast, but are you also able to reconnect?After her retirement from the army, Ignys Jasper Firewalker tries to find her place in the civilian world again. Her pursuit for peace, inner balance and redemption leads her to the most unexpected of places and to new friends.This is a collection of one shots and ficlets revolving around Ignys Jasper Firewalker on her way back to herself.





	1. A scarred angel´s song

**Author's Note:**

> Since this is a loose collection of oneshots, it´s not neccessary to read each chapter in chronological order to understand the story. This work is an addition to the "The broken ones"-series, that shows more angles to the "Scarred angel"-verse.
> 
>  

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is shortly after Ignys Jasper has left the army and became a teacher. She is still fighting with the PTSD from combat and she sings to herself as she is at her school one weekend. But Ignys is not alone. Alba Pearl, the school secretary is around working, too and she hears that song....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Prologue to the "Scarred Angel" Universe, which is a collection of diversed pieces about Ignys Jasper Firewalker, a distant descendant of our Jasper who lives 180 years after the last event of the show canon, where gem-human hybrids are normal and not always half gem, half human.
> 
> "A scarred angel´s song" is the first story of my lovely friend @suddenlySardonyx. She, I and Tiger Eye are working on this AU as a collaboration project, so this story is hers. I only beta-read it and hunted the typos...
> 
> She´s new here, so just drop some suggestions, if there´s something to change, but remember, mild roasting, please! ;) Kidding, don´t roast, ok?  
> I hope you like it!

 

** A scarred angel´s song **

 

Ignys Jasper had come into the school on a weekend, at a time when she thought no one was there. She wanted to make sure she had everything organized for the coming lessons. The correct lesson plans for the upcoming week were still due. Aside that, she wanted the alone time. The veteran had been in a rut lately. Her PTSD had been acting up, which brought up some other difficult feelings and emotions. As she sorted through things, she found herself humming that song to herself. Ignys´ thoughts went to the war. To her fallen friends, comrades, people she considered family. Unnoticed, her humming turned to words. Lyrics, which became louder and clearer, as the song progressed. The acoustics in the room aided nicely to her trained voice, and the world seemed to fade around her. It was just her, her song, her memories, and her feelings, mourning her fellow soldiers.

* * *

 

Alba Pearl; the school secretary, had arrived at the school a few minutes ago. Coming in early to get some much needed filing done, and to do some other tasks. She figured she was the only one who had this idea. So the lean woman was a little spooked when she heard a faint voice echoing through the halls. Curious, she followed the song. The farther she went through the halls, the louder and clearer the words became. The voice was angelic, yet heavy with emotion, and the words touched her. She tiptoed to the room. Gripping the stack of folders and papers in her arms, Alba peered through the window in the door. She saw Professor Jasper standing in there, her back turned to the door. Her voice mixed with the lyrics hit Alba hard as she continued to listen behind the closed door. The stack of papers and folders dropped from her arms. Tears welled up in her eyes as she leaned her back against the wall by the door, and slid to the floor. The scarred angel's song invaded her soul. Emotions and memories, including those of her deceased love Rose came rushing to her. From that, Alba Pearl began to cry, her palms pressed to her face.

* * *

 

The song ended. She heard the door knob jiggle and did her best to wipe away her tears and busy herself picking up the mess she made. A large boot stepped right next to a paper Alba Pearl was reaching for. A voice, deep, but like silk, said her name in a question. The secretary looked up at the way larger woman, but averted her gaze and quickly looked back to the floor. Hoping that Jasper couldn't tell she had been crying.

"Oh, h-hello Ignys. I didn't know you were here.... I-I tripped and dropped these.. I'll pick them up and- be on my way." Pearl stuttered. She scrambled to make an excuse why she was on the floor and folders and papers were scattered around her.

The taller woman looked down the hall. Nowhere did she see anything the secretary could've tripped over.

"Here... Let me help you with that," Ignys Jasper knelt down and started to help pick up the paperwork.

"Oh, you don't have to do that!.... I can-" Alba Pearl started

"Alba," Ignys Jasper interrupted. The school secretary looked up and met Ignys' eyes. Latter looked like she'd had been crying too. "It's ok."

Alba Pearl wiped a remaining tear from her eye with the heel of her hand and sniffled.

They picked up the remaining files.

After they finished, Ignys Jasper invited Alba into the teacher's lounge for some tea.

* * *

 

"That song...It was so...beautiful!"

"For real?" Ignys´ eyes widened.

"Yes! It touched me in ways, I never thought a song in an empty school could!"

"How? It´s a song about WAR! What could YOU know about war? YOU have for certain never even been near it!" Ignys was confused. How could someone like Alba, someone so quiet and shy know how SHE, Ignys Jasper, felt abou such trauma.

Alba said nothing, a bit shocked by Ignys´ reaction.

 

For a couple moments, there was an uncomfortable, awkward silence.  
Finally they told each other about what Ignys Jasper's song brought to the surface. Pearl listened as Jasper talked about what she went through, and all she had lost, what that song meant to her. And Pearl shared hers. It felt nice to talk with someone who could understand.

"Wow!!! I never knew, you could sing like that!! Oh my stars! That was ....... operatic at times! How?" Alba stuttered and flustered immediately, a soft blush dusting her cheeks.

"I have been in choir, from when I was a little kid. Singing has always helped me express things, that cannot be said. And mom always wants me also cultured. She´s right. Otherwise, you become hollow from all the violence in the world." Ignys Jasper explained.

Secretary Pearl seemed impressed. They talked about their hobbies. their interests and found that they had more in common than they thought. Alba had also been a choir progeny in her youth! She and Ignys never were too close before. Despite being coworkers and seeing each other on an almost daily basis, but now that had changed.

Thanks to a chance encounter, and a scarred angel's song.

* * *

 


	2. Rising Tides - New Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professor I. Jasper is a respected and sometimes even feared teacher at the Beach City Capital School with a somewhat good relationship with her class and collegue. Everything could just be normal, but as they go on a field trip to Dark Rock Cave, no one could know, that a fateful accident could change everything.
> 
> Star Sapphire is about to get a powerful friend, who will change her life and outlook on her Anxiety disorder forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, we are about to encounter Ignys Jasper´s powers as a gem hybrid in their full glory for the first time:
> 
> Super human strength and stamina.

**Rising Tides - New skies**

 

Almost a year has passed over the newly formed class. Slowly but steadily, Professor Jasper, Professor Morganite and the students grew more accustomed and used to each other.

"We go on a field trip tomorrow! The weather is forecast to be fine. We will go to Dark Rock Cave. There has been a small smuggler harbour and the view from there is simply FANTASTIC!" Morganites eyes shone with amazement, her thoughts trailing to that place for a moment.

"Everyone bring good shoes, sun screen and solid clothes! There will be some good hiking. What could be better than a hike in the morning?" Jasper asked rhetorically, with a commanding tone to the voice. "Endangering or reckless behavior cannot be tolerated!"

"Yikes, man, she´s ONE HELL of a drill seargent!! I bet my guts, she has been in the military!!" Xelia Tiger´s Eye whispered into her neighbours ear. "Yeah! Me, too!" Zane Onyx agreed a bit too loudly, promptly catching a fiery glare from the tall teacher. Silence. The prospect of hiking under Professor Jaspers strict lead didn´t seem too exciting and motivating to the class. Finally, the bell rang and the entire class bursted into a cluster of discussions of all kinds. While some, including Xelia and Zane moaned about the military regiment of the "school dragon", others were quite excited. An abandoned smuggler harbour- sounded very interesting; far better than sitting in the classroom all day.

* * *

 

The next day it was already pretty warm in the morning. Even Professor Jasper, who wore a wide variety of suits at all times, only wore a creme white, short sleeved shirt with a very loose tie. Everyone was more or less excited about the trip, as they rode with the bus to the next parking space by the cave. It was not quite easy for professor Morganite to keep all students together and listening, but one and the other fierce glare of her coworker later, the instruction was done smoothly and quickly. Everyone was warned to stay away as far from the edges as possible. With a bit of a concern, both teachers watched Star Sapphires figedty and anxious behavior. "We´ll have to keep an eye on Star!" Professor Morganite whispered to Professor Jasper. "Don´t worry, Imogen, I´ve got this!", the taller assured.

After the instruction, a good and a bit tough hike up the small cliff began. Finally there, the group was rewarded with a stunning view over the ocean and the outskirts of Beach city. A gentle breeze cooled the summer heat a bit. All in all, it was a nice day, so the two teachers retreated a bit from the bustling and talking students. In the shade they switched with the watch, so at least one at a time could have a break. Professor Jaspers thoughts trailed everywhere and nowhere, always having a vigilant eye, when suddenly a piercing shriek filled the warm air. The tall teacher jerked, her warrior instincts kicking in immediately, as she heared a distant splash.

Her collegue and friend dashed past her and she immediately knew, what is going on.

"IMOGEN!! NO!!" The warrior yelled at full volume, grabbing her collegues arm. Everyone present startled, looking for the reason of their formteachers outburst. Almost violently aforementioned yanked Professor Morganite away from the edge. The lean but athletic teacher was on the verge of jumping after the unfortunate student, who had fallen in. "NO! Don´t! I´ll handle this; I know this place and I know what to do and what strength is required. More than you have. Don´t put yourself in this! It´s too dangerous, Imogen!" Professor Jasper demanded. Her voice shook nervously, worried, toning down, the further her collegue went from the edge. "Bring the others to the bus. When things are under control, we head back immediately, understand?", she ordered. Professor Morganite nodded, pale from the worry, sensing horrible to come.  
"Please, stay safe!" Her college pleaded, worried sick.  
Professor Jasper nodded, darting to the edge, peeling as many clothes as possible, including her shoes off, while running.

_**Without hesitation, she was gone.** _

Head on. Like the warrior has faced many things in her life.  
While falling, Professor Jasper shifted swiftly from teacher to warrior.  
Briefly the wind whistled past her ear and she impacted.  
The contact with the green water was cold compared to the warm weather, but nothing she could not handle or would break her concentration. Her trained warrior eyes found the silhouette of a small, fragile girl spiralling into the dark. Swiftly a strong current, a nasty undertow pulled both under, but knowing this place, Professor Jasper rode the current, always staying semi-parallel, in case she got the girl. When she finally got the unfortunate the visibility was down to zero. With a powerful movement, she pulled the girl close to her, laying her strong arm around the delicate torso and began the way back up.

 

Mercilessly the warriors willpower commandeered the body, despite its growing resistance and strain. "NO ONE DIES!! NOT ON MY WATCH!!" She thought to herself, feeling how she bit her own lip, steering towards a slope in the murky twilight, firmly clawing onto it. With all her force, she pulled herself sidewards, through the current, masterfully eluding it and shot upwards as quickly as possible.

Ignys means fire. Fire, the same fire she felt, setting her ablaze. When the breath catches fire, things are really going down, but not fighting that pain itself was what worried her. Staying mentally stable and clear, while doing so was the harder task. Embracing that "fire", that pain was the only way to stay focused and sane on the way towards the light, which felt like an eternity. Of course it was NOT an eternity, but the feeling of air on the face, the first breath, sharp and deep and the warmth were still like a painful rebirth. But it was good, quickly restoring the firewalker, as she pulled the limp girl to the shore, recognizing her as Star Sapphire.

Professor Morganite was already expecting them, as white as a sheet and crying. "Are you ok?" she stuttered, approaching them swiftly, professor Jaspers shirt and shoes in hand. With a swift movement, latter grabbed the shirt out of Professor Morganites hand and firmly wrapped Star into it. She began the emergency CPR, rep after rep.

_**One- two- three** _

"Are you not cold?"  
"I have more important things to worry about right now than my temperature!"  
Silence.

_**One- two - three** _

"Please, don´t leave us now, Star! FIGHT!!"  
Her face stayed pale, blueish and lifeless.

_**One - two - three** _

"FIGHT!!! You have all ahead!!" Tears formed in the warriors eyes.  
"Darn! I have lost so many, please not you, too!"  
"Ignys,...."  
"NO!!!"

_**One -two- ...** _

Suddenly Star moved, violently coughing up the cold, burning saltwater, pale as a sheet..  
"Don´t be afraid! I´ve got you!! You´re safe! We´ve got you!! No harm shall ever happen on you again, when I´m around to prevent it!! I promise!" Professor Jasper soothed Star, holding her close in her arms.  
A strong feeling of maternal(?) love and relief washed over her. Fulfilling, powerful...  
Stars breath was hard, rough and raspy, taking all of the girls remaining strength and Star slipped back into unconciosness...

"THE ambulance?!?!"  
"Will arrive any minute."  
*sighs* "Thank goodness!!!!"

Stars breath was still uneven and very weak, even though her pulse has become stable and ok again. Gently the warrior bent over and blew a bit of her own breath into her student; once, twice, thrice. With every breath given, Stars breath grew stronger, deeper and more stable and finally the girl woke up, in the very moment the ambulance arrived.

"Can you do me a favour, Imogen?"  
"For you always!"  
"Please, bring the others back to school. Explain them what happened and that I will have an eye on Star and will come back to school tomorrow. Tell Principal Diamond, that Star is in NO condition, that´d enable her to attend school!"  
"Of course, I´ll call you, when all is done!" Professor Morganite inhaled deeply; "You are even more a hero, than I thought, Ignys! Just let let me tell you once, that your valor humbles me deeply!"  
"Imogen, please, you know, that I´m just doing my job! ... It´s my sworn duty as a teacher, firewalker, warrior and human being, that I keep those entrusted to my protection safe!!! Now, go! The others need you!"

The two teachers hugged for a moment, then Professor Morganite headed to school.

Professor Jasper got up and carried Star to the ambulance. The girl was still pretty weak and looked so fragile, almost lost in the strong arms of her rescuer.

"Will you stay with me?" Star asked, her voice was barely more than a whisper.  
"I don´t know, if that´s allowed..."

An elderly medic inspected Star, laying her on a gurney. As her gaze fell on professor Jasper, her eyes widened. She straightened herself, saluting swiftly, even before Star noticed.

"Of course, you can stay with her, Ma'am!" The medic answered quickly; the other two paramedics nodded in agreement.

"Th-Thank you! You -You saved....my life...." Star whispered weakly, her voice hoarse from the violent coughing before.  
"Shhh, Star, it´s ok! But now try not to move for a while, you´re still very weak! You need rest!"

The older medic began to check Stars pulse and breathing.  
"She´s ok so far! There is nothing serious! Thanks to brilliant first aid!! Was it you?" She turned towards Professor Jasper, who startled by the sudden question. Aforementioned nodded tiredly.  
"Ok, Star, now lay down and get some rest! You need it!" one of the younger paramedics, a short, a bit chubby, brown haired woman, instructed Star. "Dhelia Brown", was stitched on her bright ambulance attire.

* * *

 

At the hospital, Star was checked on again. Again, everything was ok.  
"Even though Star is ok, we´ll keep her here over night, so we can have an eye on Star, in case something goes wrong. Secondary drowning is sneaky! It can happen up to more than a day after you were rescued, even if the victim feels completely fine!!!" The doctor explained. He was average height and lean, with steel grey short hair and glasses over his grey-blue eyes.  
Star was laid into a free room's bed, tucked in neatly.  
"Will you stay with Star for a while? Some calming company would be good for her, but I have no time!"  
"Of course!" Professor Jasper answered quickly and he hurried off...

......

Star slipped between sleep and waking, back and forth, repeatedly waking from nightmares. Every time in her teachers arms.

"Why are you doing this, professor?" Star asked meekly, not understanding the kindness and how she deserved it.

"Doing what?" she gently asked back.

"You- you ... risked your own life to save mine and now you're here, guarding my sleep?? Driving away the .... fear, that.... never leaves?" stars voice cracked, supressing a sob, "why are you sacrificing so much for someone so ... pathetic.... like me?"

"YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC!!!!" professor Jasper hollered, startling Star. "I know, what you're going through. People with Anxiety Disorder, who face their lives like you do are not pathetic!!! I don't want to hear that ever again! You fight and bring the very best you can, day by day! That does not make you pathetic; no, that makes you brave!"  
The kind words made Star cry.

"But I DON'T WANT TO BE AFRAID OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ANYMORE!!!" the student blurted out, clutching the shirt, her teacher had wrapped her in, closer to her chest, her dark blue eyes locked on the blanket.

"I understand! Even though, I can not make your Anxiety Disorder vanish for good, l can still help you finding a healthy and efficient way to keep your fears from paralizing you. If there is one thing you learn in the military, then it's dealing with fear..." Professor Jasper looked into nowhere for a moment, her memory trailing to her army days, the missions, the fear for her very life in combat...

"You don't seem to be afraid of anything or anyone!"

"I'm afraid of things, even mortified by them just like you. That makes us human. When I heard you falling in, I was VERY afraid. Afraid, that we'd might loose you. In the current, I even feared for our lives! Danger is a real and fear a valid thing, but the way we decide determines the outcome of the threatening situation!" the teacher part explained to Star, part said to herself.

"How? One can't just 'turn off' their fear, can they?"

"No, but you can interact with the fear. Accept its existence, presence and message, but tell it clearly, that it's not the right time and not nessecary for it to act out. With that you get control of the fear in that very moment of trial, instead of being paralized by it."

"Woah!!"

"Let us travel this path together for a while. I'm going to tutor you! You'll see, that even in the seemingly most impossible of things, there is a possibility!" Professor Jasper felt Stars small, cool hand in hers, shy and careful and smiled at her warmly.

"Really?!?!" the student beamed, starry eyed.

Her teacher nodded.

" I'm going home now, it's really late. The visiting hours are long over and you should sleep!" Gracefully Professor Jasper got up and slowly walked towards the door.

"And your shirt?"

"Keep it. I've got plenty of them! See you tomorrow in class!" with that, she left the room, turning the lights off and quietly closed the door.

"Thank you! So much!" Star murmured into the warm fabric of said shirt.  
For the first time in years, Star could just lay in the soft moonlight, enjoy it, without a panic attack. A happy and grateful tear slowly rolled down her cheek and before she could grasp the days events, Star gently fell into a deep, pleasant sleep. Wrapped in the shirt of a new and unexpected friend.

* * *

 


	3. Mayor Dewey, don´t do something stupid!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the accident, that almost cost the life of her student Star Sapphire, Ignys Jasper had enough with the bureaucratic circus about a safety fence along the edges of the cliffs of Dark Rock Cave. She decides to take the matters into her own hands and confronts Mayor Dewey, who adamantly refuses to permit said fence.   
> Mayor Dewey is about to face the ire of who is known as "the one, who conquered Dark Rock Cave" in town.   
> Especially amongst the teachers of Beach City.
> 
> Will she finally put an end to that fence-debate and get it permitted?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is written by me, but SuddenlySardonyx gave me the idea and helped me develop it.
> 
>  
> 
> Uh Oh! Mayor Dewey is in biiig trouble!! I don´t want to be in his skin right now! Let´s see, if he makes the right decision...

 

**Mayor Dewey, don´t do something stupid!**

 

_**Bam Bam Bam!** _

Loud knocking at the door startled Mayor Dewey from his work.

"Ella, there´s someone at the door! Handle that for me, I´m busy!" he ordered his secretary, without looking up from his paperwork.  
Ella walker sensed dread.

The loud knocking sounded very urging and angry and when she shakingly opened, an 8 feet tall, broad shouldered and intimidating woman briskly entered. She was broader than the doorframe and taller than it. Her white hair framed her furious face like fire and her golden eyes glared Mrs Walker to ash.  
"Excuse me Ma´m, but this is between Mayor Dewey and me!" Mrs. Jasper growled behind clenched teeth. She took a deep breath and exhaled sharply to keep her composure. Her angry, heated breath hit the secretary. Mrs. Walker recognized Mrs. Jasper immediately and  shied to the mayors office.

"M-Mayor, there´s Mrs. Jasper, she wants to talk to YOU only and is pretty FURIOUS!!" his secretary hushed, her heart pounding and was glad, that she could escape the situation as Mayor Dewey let the warrior enter.

"THE FENCE!" the tall woman growled, burning him with a terrible glare.

"I almost LOST a student because of the lack thereof!!! How often did we AND the council tell you, that there HAS TO BE a fence at the cliff of Dark Rock Cave? Guarding this place stands in NO relation to just permitting a simple, but solid FENCE!" Her voice was threateningly low and reined.

"A fence will ruin this place! My answer stays no!" The mayor answered calmly, keeping a reserved, professional smile.

Now the ex-soldier got REALLY pissed.

"Now listen, MAYOR DEWEY!! Have you EVER looked on one single sea map of that place? I suppose not, because otherwise, you´d know, HOW dangerous these waters are!! YOU. WILL. PERMIT. THAT. FENCE. NOW!!" Angrily, she yanked the Mayor at his collar from behind his desk, so he was forced to look her in the eyes.

"Or what?" He asked, hiding behind his "authority".

"YOU don´t want to know!" she hissed threateningly, letting her horrible glare talk.

One could literally see, what it said: _" I will NOT remind you again!! You DON`T want to make me your enemy. What do YOU know, about the dangers of YOUR territory? Appearantly nothing! You have not felt the oceans power so stop acting like you know better!"_

"I will NOT do it! Dark Rock Cave is a historical site and barely anyone knows it and a fence will ruin it and unhand me!" He tried to hold his composure.

The entire bottled up anger and worry and piss boiled higher in the teacher.

"Listen, I DON`T want to go bad on you. I want safety and I want to end this circus in a civilized manner, so stop this nonsense NOW!!" she states angrily.

_"I´m a warrior, I have fought the ocean and won! Don´t think, you can play me like this, you little dipshit!!"_ , she thought to herself.  
It took her entire military discipline to not just go ham on him.

Mayor Dewey now trembled. "O-o-okay, just let me get the form! I didn´t know and d-d-don´t want people to be exposed to such dangers...." he stutterd in fear, fumbling a form from under the desk.

"GOOD!" the warrior answered, pleased.

"Where do I have to bring the form? Who is responsible for the fence?"

"I will take the responsibility as head of construction! I know that place the best of all!" Mrs. Jasper answered, feeling how she calmed down again.

"O-o-ok..." Still a bit trembling, the mayor handed the signed form over, so Mrs. Jasper could sign, too.

"Very good! The construction will start at once!"

  
"...." For a moment, Mayor day was unable to say or do anything.

  
"Sorry, that it had to be this way, but trust me, you will be grateful, when more visitors come to know Dark Rock Cave!" She apologized, yet with a hidden warning to always stay alert about that perilious place.

Mayor Dewey was still shocked from that force of a woman. so he just nodded. Shooting another short, warning "I-have-got-an-eye-on-you"- look, she left to get the construction of a safe AND aestheticly not too clashing fence started as soon as possible.

* * *

 


	4. A scarred angel´s love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignys Jasper Firewalker grants her student Star refuge in her arms, as latter struggles with the mental aftermath of Dark Rock Cave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was about one of the most heartwarming to write!

 

 

**A scarred angel´s love**

 

"Hey Star. You okay?"

A warm and deep voice tugged Star to reality. She was spaced and didn't quite know, what was going on or where she actually was. Everyone was already packing up for lunch break and the next lessons. Only Star sat almost motionless and numb at her desk, the voice of her teacher seeping in.

"Star?"

The student startled and almost fell from her chair, as she saw professor Jasper directly looking at her with warm and benevolently loving golden eyes.

"What? Where am I? What happened?" She sputtered, looking around in confusion. "Everyone´s packing up! Did I fall asleep in your lesson? I fell asleep in your lesson! I'm so sorry! I`m..."

"Shhh, calm down, Star. Yes, you did, but you didn´t look very good today in the first place. Are you alright?"  
The calm gentleness of her teacher startled Star and she froze. Patiently the teacher awaited an answer, but didn't hurry her student.

"I...I...I´m....." She took a deep breath. "No. Please, I... Are you mad that I fell asleep at school?" Star whispered anxiously, already ducking.

"No, I´m not mad, dear! Why should I be? That happens to everyone! It even happened to me back in school!" Professor Jasper smiled gently and laid a large hand on Star´s cheek, gently cupping her face in it. Star felt tears welling up in her eyes, even her nose, an indicator of heavy crying ahead. The student laid her cold, slender and small hand on the hand that cupped her face.

"Re..ally?" The student now sobbed. Softly at first, but it grew stronger and stronger. Professor Jasper let go of Star, got up and sat on the chair next to her student and reached out an arm with about the gentlest smile Star had ever seen, her head a bit tilted to the side.

"Come here, lil one. There is great turmoil in you."  
The teacher's voice wrapped around Star like a warm blanket, a softly sung prayer and with a sob, she approached her teacher, until she was close enough for the tall woman to gently lift the girl onto her lap as Star took the offered arm. Like a loving mother she held her student close, feeling her shiver. Star surrendered to the embrace and cried into the broad torso of her teacher.

"Now tell me, what is it that doesn't let you sleep?"

 

"I...I...I´m...scared, professor! I just can´t sleep one night without a nightmare about what happened at the accident. It's already two months ago, but why does it not let me go??" Star answered between heavy, ugly sobs.

"I totally understand! What happened at Dark Rock Cave was very traumatizing and it can sometimes take years to recover from something like that, but don't you worry, I will always be here for you. I can feel your terror and your exhaustion, because I'm an empath. I can feel people's emotions, sometimes as if they were my own!" Professor Jasper answered quietly and gently.

"But why are you doing all this?"

"Doing what?"

"You´re so .... selfless?" Star was a bit hesitant about how to say it. "The accident is like a nameless dark abomination and I´m scared about something, without even knowing WHAT I´m scared of!"

Her teacher listened patiently and took a deep breath. "What about we complete what happened there? You tell me, what happened and I tell you what happened? Naming the beast is half defeating it!" She suggested.

Star nodded. Pulling her shoes off, she curled up in the strong woman´s lap even more and slowly began.  
"I had an.. episode and ran off, not knowing, where exactly I was going and of course, I did not mind my step and suddenly it was too late. I fell off the edge.." Star stopped for a moment as she felt her heart racing and buried her face in her teacher´s chest, shivering. Latter took her coat and wrapped Star in it, so the student was entirely engulfed in her teacher´s warmth.

"It's ok. There's no rush. Just keep going at your pace, ok?" She encouraged her student.  
Star obeyed and resumed, snuggled close to the one who saved her.

"I fell into the water and immediately panicked, because, I was not much of a swimmer, if at all. The waters dragged me under, until I no longer knew, where up is and where down and I was so terrified of drowning, even though I knew, exactly that would happen soon! I got hold on a rock for a moment, but I had no power against that----HELL, so it tore me off and when the water entered me, I could do nothing but helplessly feel, how every spark of hope vanished and how inhaling brought only pain and cold and death. In a scream, no one would hear!"  
Cold sweat stained Star´s forehead and she held onto Professor Jasper for her dear life.

"And then--Nothing! I fell into a strange, terrifying, bright void, until suddenly a strong warm wind brought me back and I found myself on the beach again, in your arms."  
Star could no longer say a word. She just buried her face in the other, who held her gently and let her chest soothingly vibrate in a softly hummed melody, almost a bit like a lullaby.

Gently she rocked the student with almost unnoticeable movements and felt, how the girl relaxed into her, before she began her part of the event.  
Professor Jasper took a deep breath and began.

"When I heard you falling in, immediately knew, what was going on and went immediately after you after instructing Professor Morganite to round up the others and bring them to the bus. I swore, that I would get you and not stop fighting before you're safe. Yes, the current was indeed terrible, dragging me down, but I found you and .. I did it. Like you, I found a rock and got hold on it. Otherwise, I'm not sure, I could have made it. I pulled us out, by having to literally climb out of the current. It´s not just you; it was actually the hardest and most straining thing, I ever had to do. Fortunately, I made it just in time, but I wish such hell and highwater upon no one, not even my mortal enemies! When I got you on shore, I was so worried, that we could have lost you! I did CPR on you. That strong wind you felt was probably my breath. You not responding after the second rep broke my heart! I refused to give up on you and after the third rep, I was rewarded and you woke up. You can´t believe, HOW relieved I was and how happy, that you survived. I forgot HOW BAD that place really is and me not scheduling the field trip somewhere else brought you in danger...But fortunately, it ended well!" Professor Jasper finished.  
Star looked up, tears still running.

"But...sorry, I still cannot digest, that you ....almost sacrificed your life for me! And then you stayed with me the whole time, carried me to the ambulance, stayed by my side in the hospital and gave me your shirt und you are there for me, for us, like all the time. After that day, I had a couple of peaceful nights, so I had hope, that things would finally get better. Even after your beautiful promise NOTHING got better, I'm so sorry!! After all you did for me, I have setback after setback, fall asleep in multiple lessons, can´t attend them and nothing ever changes! I'm so tired!"

Star´s last sentence pierced into Professor Jasper's heart and she let herself feel Star's sorrow and fear. "I know. I feel you and you don't need to apologize! Recovery is such a hard path! Even the strongest warriors fall on it from time to time. Let go! I have you, you're safe! I would do, what I did, for each and everyone of you and each and everyone under my vigilance!! Your lives are laid into my hand as a teacher and it's my duty to keep them safe from whatever comes; no matter if hell or highwater! Don't you worry about being a burden to me! Love and gratitude give me strength well enough to keep going and each soul having a future or just a better time is reward enough for me." The teacher soothed and each and every word washed over Star.

"So you stay with me? I´m so .... tired! Not even mom and dad can help me anymore, I'm so sorry!" Star´s sobs slowly calmed down and her grip on Jasper´s shirt loosened.

 

"Yes, I will stay with you and no force can keep me from that! I know! Your parents only mean well and do their best, but they're overwhelmed by your anxiety. Never dare to think, that they have given up on you or have stopped loving you! They love you with every fibre of their being and have cried their eyes out in worry and gratitude and love after they heard of the accident and that you're fine! So, don´t think about that now. Let go. Rest. "

"But the break is almost over.."

"I will make sure, that my next class has a supervision. They have to work on a presentation anyway."

Meanwhile Professor Morganite had entered the room and was touched by how gently her colleague held her crying student.

"Imogen, can you supervise my next class please and excuse Star for the rest of today?"

"Yes, of course!" With that the other teacher left.

"Thanks!" Professor Jasper answered after the leaving colleague and got up, stabilizing her student on her arm, like a mother her child.

"Professor, where are we going?" Star asked weakly.

"My next class is in here in about ten minutes, so I thought, we should go to 108. There´s no one today, so you can get a bit rest." The teacher answered, as she picked up Star´s shoes, while still holding her and carried the student down the hallways and up the staircase to room 108, where, after closing the door, she sat down on the reserve bed. Star meanwhile was almost sleepy from the teacher's movements.

"Now sleep a bit, my little Star. You're safe and everything is alright here. I will always be here for you. No matter, what happens, I will be right here for you! I'm your wings, your shield and your refuge, whenever there´s the the need!" She almost whispered, as her student relaxed into her arms and turned her face into the teacher´s torso.

Professor Jasper felt Star slowly drifting to sleep, even though remnants of her anxiety lingered and tensed her small body from time to time and so she began to sing. Quietly and softly. A lullaby that her deceased mother had sung before she got murdered. This lullaby was almost all Professor Jasper could remember from that time. It felt like a sung prayer, a simple, gentle melody. A blessing for the night and a mother's promise, always to be there.  
So she sang, until her student had completely fallen asleep in her arms.

 

Star looked and felt so small and fragile in her sleep, but at least she was now relaxed and even smiled a little and a wave of motherly love flowed through the teacher like warm honey milk and she kept singing a little longer, just for the sake of the tender feeling in her heart, feeling her little, beloved student´s steady and calm breath and heartbeat.  
Moments like this reminded her thousandfold, how much she actually loved being a teacher, actually a caretaker in general.

"Aww! That kid is so cute! She deserves NONE of what she's going through!" The teacher thought fondly and felt how a single tear formed in her eye.

"I love you so much, my little one!" Professor Jasper whispered almost inaudibly and leaned against the wall, watching her sleep. As she felt Star getting a bit cold, she laid the blanket of the reserve bed on the student and let her rest in her arms, despite sitting on a bed, just for the sake of the gesture and because she feared waking Star up.

Actually…..

Professor Jasper didn't want it any other way.

* * *

 


	5. Trust and a new world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignys Jasper Firewalker helps her student Star Sapphire to deal with a trauma from her accident at Dark Rock Cave and to overcome the strong hydrophobia that comes with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star is so lucky to have such a kind of friend!! What a feeling it must be to have a teacher, who gives you the feeling, you can change and do anything and no sincere effort is in vain?

 

**Trust and a new world**

 

It was already the first year after IT, that is not spoken about. School was out for summer and whole Beach City floated in the Summer hole and nothing spectacular happened. Tourists came and went, but still it was few of them, so it was peaceful and quiet. So it was at the beach. Star sat at a quiet, secluded, shallow and gentle, clear piece of a tiny lagoon in the warm sand, dangling her feet in the water. It was incredibly hot. Even though, Star has resolved herself to try swimming again, it was so hard to trust again. Despite her effort, she could not get herself to go in deeper than her lower chest. Star swam a bit in that shallow, just to shy out and sit onto the shore again for a while.

No one was around, so she startled, when a big shadow darkened the direct sun. "Hi Star" a familiar, deep voice greeted. "EEeeep!" Star sqeaked and darted away, looking up at the tall person, recognizing her as her teacher. Now she did not wear her usual attire, but a black bathing suit. Never before had the student seen her teachers build so clearly. She gulped and looked away, flashed and a bit intimidated.

"It´s so pretty peaceful here, right? Just the right place to take a swim and the weather is excellent! This is one of my favourite places to do so! No noise, no duties, no stress, just ....*the teacher inhaled deeply* ....the elements and me.", she finished.

  
"Oh sorry, I didn´t mean to disturb you in your place! I-I-I....didn´t...know, that....it´s..."

  
"No, your not bothering at all! Actually, I´ve seen you and watched for a little while... You liked swimming, but now you are horrified, that something could go wrong again, aren´t you?"

  
"It´s not fair! I bet, you can read my mind!" Star whined.

  
"No, I can´t, but I know people and their behavior quite well." "I think, I know, what to do." the teacher said quietly after a moment of silence. "I´m going to tutor you and help you to overcome this fear and trauma. It´s the perfect opportunity"

  
"What if I fall again?" Star asked with genuine fear, that a thing like that accident could happen again.

  
"Then I´ll catch you again. Trust me, it´s all ok! There is not the littlest danger the next half mile. I know these waters and I seek them out for their gentleness and serenity. The perfect place to regain trust!" Saying that, the tall woman began to go backwards into the water. Until she stood in it up to her waist, her arms open, on her face a gentle, inviting smile. "Come.." she invited, patiently waiting.

Hesitating, Star went into the water, too. While the crystal clear water lapped gently around the teachers waist, Star already had to swim. Her movements were small, anxious and a bit clumsy.

  
" See, nothing bad here." Mrs. Jasper assured and watched Star´s movements. "When you swim, always use long movements. Move, like you´re interacting with a friend. It´s always question and answer. Think every interaction with water as a dance. The way you move determines this dance. Like this."

With that, the teacher lifted off and swam around Star. She moved with countless nuances, long and vast movements. Graceful enough to put a dancer to shame, like water itself, swift and powerful and quiet. Mesmerized by the perfection, Star tried to mimick the nymph-like movements and. It worked! Widely beaming, Star remembered, how much she had liked swimming before the panic attacks and later the incident.

  
"Wow! That is amazing!!" the girl exclaimed, not able to take her gaze from her teacher. So they just peacefully swam together in the small lagoon until sundown.

  
" Just come again tomorrow!" Professor Jasper invited, happy to see her student like that. Her student has never been so genuinely happy and relaxed in the water after the accident. Her plan worked excellently and the fear fled from this happiness.

  
"Yes, of course, I will come! It was so A-MA-ZING!!" Star exclaimed with starry eyes.

The teacher chuckled at the excitement of Star, as latter dashed home, not without waving.

* * *

  
Next day she was there again, learning, healing, learning. And the next day and the next day.  
With every day, Star swam more relaxed and faster. Even though her movements were still far more delicate than the vast, majestic rhythm of her teacher. The fear dwindled with every time and day, one as beautiful as the one before, bonding both closer.

* * *

 

After the second week, Star felt a special mood in the air. She could not describe it. The water has grown more and more of a friend to her, but submerging wholly or getting water in the face was still very scary to Star. So her teacher suddenly took Stars hand, laid it around her neck. The confused student was, much to her confusion, not horrified. Not even as her teacher submerged, with her in tow. Even though, there was a weird tingle in her stomach. Like that you get in a rollercoster. Only more multifaceted and intense, but the trust in her teacher was stronger.

Where Mrs. Jasper was already a strong and elegant swimmer, she was tenfold as a diver! With the grace and majesty of an eagle she moved and Star could feel the dance of perfectly trained muscles and water. Every moment was lifted outside time into a tiny, chrystallized eternity. Even though Star wore googles, she had her eyes clamped shut and now hesitantly opened them. One after the other, just to be stunned by the beauty of the world around her. A whole new world in fractured silver-turqoise. Full of life and colours and infinite, silent, witnessing beauty. Feeling her inside tingling, Star let go of her teachers shoulder and dashed to the surface. She felt the rush of newfound strength and fluidity. Her teacher followed gracefully, slow on purpose, as if she had all the time in the world. Catching her breath, Star watched her ascending and was ..again.. mesmerized by it. Hypnotized by Mrs. Jasper´s serene smile. By her open, bare, golden eyes, that seemed to see everything perfectly. The gold and silver and turqoise reflection on the tanned skin, that danced with every flawless movement as she ascended. And by the open, platinum hair, that surrounded her face like a gold, silver cloud, a white halo. Finally Star´s teacher breached the surface. Taking a deep breath, as calmly as if nothing ever happened.

"Whoah." Star whispered. All out of words, not believing, that being underwater could be so.......beautiful. Her fear was flashed away more and more by beauty and serenity. So, under supervision, she tried diving for herself, by herself and decided, that she ........loved it?  
"I-I-I- LOVE this!" "she stammered. "It feels, like....flying! How?"

"You have turned a fear into beauty. With my help, but you have done the most of this process.." Professor Jasper explained with a bright smile on her face, proud of her student´s progress.

"huh?" Star was a bit confused by the words.

"You decided to let trust, joy and curiosity gently replace the fear, you let yourself free! I could not have done that for you! You have shown great courage and bravery to face a mortal fear and transform it like that!"

"Oh my stars! Yeah!" the student gasped, struck by that realization.  
"It´s just unbelievable! I´d love to learn....*Star looked down for a moment*...everything! Diving and dancing are so.....close.......and", she stammered.

"Yes, they indeed ARE closer related, than people think! Both are very very intimate and intense when done in their natural form. They do VERY well together!"

* * *

 

And so, Star studied the entire summer, fascinated about how connected all was. With her new confidence, she tried all kinds of physical activities and new things. Feeling how the life of both changed for the better. The teacher found peace and beauty in her abilities. That they´re not just a weapon, reminding her of her past, but a crucial part of her personality. Relearned how to just have fun and Star became more and more outgoing, happy and stable, a new Star, who the other should soon enough meet....

* * *

 


	6. Don´t you worry, Star!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star gets picked on and sometimes even threatened by two classmates, who envy Star for her good standing at school. 
> 
> One day such a conflict escalates. How will it turn out? 
> 
> Will Star successfully stand her ground?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is again written entirely by the awesome SuddenlySardonyx under the influence of the music of Two Steps From Hell.
> 
> This is just a scenario about Ignys Jasper going Mamma Bear for her student Star. Let´s hope, Star and the two classmates who attacked her will find a way to really resolve this situation between them peacefully!

  


**Don´t you worry, Star!**

  


  


It was a windy Thursday afternoon in beautiful Beach City, and Star Sapphire was making her way home from school for the day.

It wasn't a very long walk from her house to the school, but the weather looked like a late summer storm was brewing overhead, so she kept in mind her pace, and watched the clouds carefully. Star had only been walking for a few minutes, and was at the first corner she had to take to get home.  

When she rounded the corner, she didn't expect to see two familiar classmates stand-in in her path.

"Oh.. h-hello, Xelia..... A-and Zane.." she greeted them with a startled stutter. The looks they shot at her were unsettling, and the fact that they just stood there silently made her feel uneasy.

Every time she ran into these guys, it was bad news. "W-ell I'll.. see you in class tomorrow. By-" she tried to move past them, hoping to avoid any confrontation today, but Zane put his arm out in front of her, pressing his palm against the cool stone wall that lined the school's property. "I-is there a problem?" She asked.

"Hm..." Zane feigned a thoughtful look, "actually, now that you mention it, there is a problem. See; certain Teacher's Pet has been getting some pretty good marks on her school lately. Now we think that your little friendship, or whatever it is you've been doing for Mrs. Jasper, is influencing how she grades your work. And, well, that's not making the two of us look very good in comparison," he explained their issue to Star.

Star glanced up and noticed the clouds getting much darker. And the wind felt colder now too. She needed to get home before the storm hit, and to do that, she needed to get away from Zane and Xelia. "Look you guys, u really have to get home," she tried to push her way past them, but Zane's arm grabbed around her midsection and he pulled her against him so she couldn't slip away. She struggled against him, shrieking, "Rghh!... Zane.. let me go!"

"What do you think, Zane? Should we teach the fragile little bunny what happens when you cheat, and make us look bad?" Xelia asked her counterpart.

"Xelia... get the rope from my pack... She's squirming a lot!.." Zane instructed as he struggled with Star. Star's heart was starting to beat faster with adrenaline. It was now or never, and she decided she wasn't going to let them bully her anymore.

When Xelia bent over to scrounge through Zane's pack, Star kicked her leg up with as much force as she could muster, giving Xelia a taste of her sneaker. Xelia shrieked and fell backwards a few feet, holding her nose. While she was down, Star hiked her leg up again and used her heel to kick Zane on the top of his foot with a surprising, yet painful amount of power, and jabbed him hard in the ribs with her boney elbow. He let out a howl of pain, and held his side just long enough for Star to slip out of his grasp. When he saw she was free, he looked at her, spitting mad, and growled as he lunged for her. She moved out of the way and grabbed the back of his shirt, throwing him into Xelia, who had finally crawled to her feet, only to be knocked over again. Star stood firm, her arms up in a guard, just like Professo Jasper had taught her, and prepared for another attack. She couldn't tell if the sound in her ears was thunder in the distance, or her own heartbeat, but she instead focused on the two in front of her. Xelia, now mumbling curses under her breath, mostly directed at Zane, who "wouldn't get off of her", finally scrambled to her feet.

Xelia touched her now swollen and bleeding nose, and made a wincing sound, visibly flinching at the pain. Star was fairly certain from this distance that she had broken it.

"You broke my nose, you little bitch!!" Xelia screeched, her eyes filled with fire. "You'll pay for that!" She ran towards the other girl, her nails bared like claws. Star managed to dodge the first few swipes, and delivered a kick to the lower abdomen of the other, then slammed her against the stone wall.

Star heard Zane's sneakers running on the concrete behind her and whirled around, jumping back out of Zane's reach, but tripping over Xelia, who was now doubled over on the ground, groaning. She fell back against the sidewalk, knocking the wind out of herself for a split second, and that's when Zane stood over her. Grabbing her by the collar of her shirt, he pulled her up close enough that she could tell he didn't brush his teeth in the morning. "Now you're really gonna pay, you brat!" He barked.

"Oh, really!?" A deep, thunderous voice commented.

Zane froze in his tracks and slowly lifted his head, knowing fully well who that voice belonged to. When he lifted his head fully, he saw their teacher, Professor Jasper, standing over him and Star. Lightning flashed behind her in the distance, which made her appearance all the more frightening. He audibly gulped, immediately losing any confidence he just had.

"And what do you think you're doing, Mr. Onyx?" She questioned him.

"I- uh- well-" he tripped over his words as the ex-Red Fortress-general's golden eyes, glowing like burning suns, pierced his soul.

"Unhand Star Sapphire IMMEDIATELY!!" she growled over the thunder.

Zane shakily released his grip on Star's shirt, setting her back down slowly. Mrs. Jasper grabbed the student up by his collar, lifting him several feet into the air, so Zane was forced to look in her angry face.

"Don't think I don't see you too, Xelia!" The furious teacher snapped at the aforementioned student who had slowly stood up and was trying to slip away.

Xelia froze as well, not daring to move.

"BOTH of you are going to apologize, SINCERELY, to Miss Sapphire! And then you are going to go to your homes!! And if I EVER find out that you so much as laid a HAND on Star again, you won't have to worry about making it home next time!! GOT IT!?!?" She roared.

"Y-yes, Mrs. Jasper!..." Xelia stuttered. And Zane let out the quietest whimper, nodding his head hard.

"GOOD! Now GO!!" The teacher commanded, dropping the student from her grasp.

Zane fell backwards onto his hind end and scrambled quickly to his feet, and he and Xelia alike took off, after apologizing hastily and halfheartedly, sprinting down the sidewalk as quickly as they could.

* * *

   


Professor Jasper turned around and held her hand out to Star, helping the student to her feet.

"You alright? You're not hurt are you?..." The teacher asked, furrowing her brow in concern.

"I-I'm fine.... J-just.. a. a l-little shaken up..." Star replied, crossing her arms protectively. Her teacher didn't say anything, but used one arm to pull Star into a hug. Star let out a shaky breath, "Thank you!... if you weren't here.. I don't know what they'd..." She sobbed into the warrior's side. "Shh... Don't worry about that now," Mrs. Jasper tried to soothe the student, "What matters now is that you're safe."

They stood there for a few minutes, silently. Mrs. Jasper held Star close to her until the other's heart rate had settled and she could breathe normally again. "There.. how are you feeling now?" She asked.

"Much better...thank you.." Star sighed into the other's form. The huge and strong woman's embrace felt warm and cozy compared to the gusting winds around them, and Star could feel tiny raindrops starting to fall on her head, but she didn't want to leave just yet.

"By the way..." Mrs. Jasper began, "What happened to Xelia's nose?... It looked like it was bleeding and swollen. Not only that, when she stood up, she looked like she was about to throw up."

Star Sapphire hesitated to answer at first, out of fear she would get in trouble. "I... kicked her in the face and.. may have b-broken her nose.... Plus k-kicked her in the stomach. A-and also beat up Zane a little..." She slowly admitted with deep regret. She felt a large hand lay on her head, and she looked up at her teacher, and saw that latter had a crooked smirk spread across her face. "Just like I taught you?" The larger woman asked.

Star blushed lightly and nodded. "Y-yeah!... A little.."

"Good girl!" the teacher said, feeling proud of Star's progress. "And hey, don't be afraid of getting in trouble. If someone tries to hurt you, you have the right to fight back. Hesitation can be the difference between life or death."

Star nodded.

The rain started falling a little heavier, and Professor Jasper looked to the sky. "You should head home now. Before the rain really starts to come down."

Star didn't argue. She said her goodbyes to her cherished teacher and mentor and started running home before the rain could catch up with her. Hopefully her parents wouldn't ask her where she'd been this whole time.

The matriarch watched Star running home, and her shoulders bounced in a silent chuckle as she began to walk to her car. Star Sapphire was improving a lot lately. With both her physical and emotional training. And Mrs. Jasper felt proud of her little pupil. That girl had so much spirit that she had yet to unlock, and didn't even realize it.

* * *

   



	7. An unexpected duet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Star has cleaned up the school gym, she happily sings and dances to herself.
> 
> Suddenly she gets an unexpected duet partner...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.....This probably one of the shortest chapters in the series. There will be more mini-chapters in the future. 
> 
> The idea for this chapter was an idea of both, SuddenlySardonix and me. She has so awesome ideas! 
> 
> So, let´s stay tuned for hearing more of her in the future!

 

**An unexpected duet**

 

Star Sapphire dusted off her hands and wiped small beads of sweat from her brow, gazing at the now clean and empty gymnasium. She had volunteered to clean it up after school, and she was finally done and almost ready to leave for the day. All she needed to do now was to get her things and head out.

But for some reason, she didn't have the urge to leave just yet. Glancing out of the entrance and down the halls, it appeared that no one was around. She was all alone, and had the gym all to herself.

Star had an idea.

Again Star looked over the spacious room. She took her time strolling to the middle of the room, humming a tune to herself. Her hum turned to words, and the room echoed her lines with a pleasant euphonious sound. She closed her eyes and sang a little louder, the music flooding her heart and urging her to move with it. So she did.

She began to move, slow at first, with her own music leading her light, fluid movements and gracefully spun about the room, placing her feet down in one spot for a moment, only to move them to another the next, repeating a choreography that she had danced many times before in her own privacy. One Star had invented from the heart.

When she sang the crescendos, she moved quickly, and on the diminuendos, she slowed, hearing, seeing, feeling nothing but her music and her dance, and the room slowly faded away from her mind.

* * *

 

The sound of the song changed, as if another voice had joined, but Star didn't stop. A voice like that wasn't hard to recognize, and she had immediately identified it as her teacher´s and mentor´s; Ignys Jasper's voice.

Their voices rose and fell with the tune, and Star's heart welled with a feeling of freedom. The same feeling she got whenever she would dance in the water, her element. Every move she made was so effortless, and so natural, as if the dance were engraved in her very being. Professor Jasper's voice mingled harmoniously with Star's as they reached the climax of the song, and the music flooded the teacher's heart as she watched her protégé move in such a spirited fashion.

Star could hear the raw emotion in her teacher's voice, filling the room with the sounds of a scarred angel's cries, and it moved her even greater. In just a few short moments, their song ended, and Star had to wipe away a few silent tears before her mentor could see them.

She felt the latter's presence come closer behind her, the warmth radiating off the taller woman.

"You have a beautiful voice, you know, Star? I can't understand why you hide it. It's a gift.." Professor Jasper complimented sincerely.

Star felt a flattered blush dust her cheeks, and she turned around, smiling meekly at her teacher. "I-I could say the same to you... I didn't know you could sing like that!..."

Mrs. Jasper scratched the back of her head, looking off somewhere else for a second. "Yeah.. not many do..." She thought back to when school secretary Mrs. Pearl caught her in song once and handed Star her things. "Here's your things.. I have to say; I'm impressed! The gym has never looked better! You've done a diligent job, and I thank you." The hugeteacher laid a heavy hand on Star's head and flashed her a proud grin.

Star let out a girlish giggle, and smiled back. "You're welcome! I was actually glad to do it. It gave me some nice, quiet time to myself."

Mrs. Jasper nodded, knowing what it feels like to want some quiet to yourself. "You should start heading home, kiddo. It's gonna get dark soon, and I don't want you walking home alone, in the dark." she suggested.

Star nodded too, surprising her teacher with a brief hug. "Bye Mrs. Jasper! I'll see you tomorrow!" She waved on her way out.

Mrs. Jasper raised her hand in a short wave back. "Stay safe!" She called out. As Star left, so did she and looked back at the empty school gym. A small laugh escaped her before she flicked off the lights and headed home herself.

* * *

 


	8. Even after the war the fight goes on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One day, Star catches her teacher in a fit of PTSD and flashbacks during a break. It´s the first time, that she sees her teacher cry. She, Professor Jasper, the teacher, everyone assumed as neigh unbreakable. 
> 
> Ignys recieves a devastating phone call, that breaks her down. In her mental break down, she just wants to be left alone. 
> 
> How will it go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST!!! 
> 
> I don´t know, if I will ever do all those veterans out there justice! I´m awfully sorry, if I don´t and if any of you reading this, wants something addressed, please leave it in the comment section down below! I´m always willing to learn! You are so brave, fighting those fights without a mission, day and night! May you find comfort and respect and even a little bit of peace in kind and compassionate souls!

 

**Even after the war the fight goes on**

 

The sounds of students running around, chatting in groups, fighting and minding their student lives filled the school property in a steady cacophony. It was the big, one hour lunch break, as Star moved quickly through the sunlit hallway of the ground floor of Beach City Capital School. Here, it was relatively quiet, since most students were outside, most of them headed to the nearby bakeries and grocery stores.

Star though preferred the quiet inside the school, as she returned from helping Professor Jeremejevite with tidying up the art supplies from the past art lesson. Abstract paintings, brainstorming and first concept paintings for a feeling of choice to be addressed in a painting.

She was about to head outside, as suddenly a very unusual sound attracted Star´s attention: A deep, loud crying. The crying of someone, who had really broken down. It came from the opposite end of the hallway, from one of the classrooms of the seniors. As Star approached the source of the cries, absolutely no one was there. Whoever was crying in there, must have known, that no one would come here and hidden in that last classroom on the other end of the hallway.

The cries were violent, almost like the weiling of a wounded animal at times and loud! Whoever was crying, was not restraining themselves at all. Star listened closer to the cry to figure, who that might be and gasped in disbelief. The voice of the crying person sounded awfully lot like....

Professor Jasper!

  
"Wait! Professor Jasper? Her? That cannot be!" Thought Star in deep shock and disbelief and almost inaudibly knocked. As no one answered, she got very concerned and quietly entered.

What Star saw in that room hit her straight in the gut and made feel physically sick and she could feel, how her insides twisted and slipped. Her beloved, usually SO tremendously strong teacher knelt on the naked floor, a pretty old mobile phone laying scattered in pieces. Salvagable pieces, not beyond repair, but Star could still figure, that it must have been thrown into that corner opposite to the kneeling teacher with a lot of force..

The curtains of that classroom were half closed, so the sunlight of that nice, warm spring day only could enter the room in broad stripes. One of these only missed Professor Jasper narrowly. The cries of the teacher completely filled the classroom and terrified Star, as she carefully approached.

"What ........happened?" The eigth grader asked in shock with a hushed and a bit scared voice.

"WHAT are YOU doing here?! YOU are NOT sup..pp..posed to ....be here!" Barked Professor Jasper between heavy, ugly sobs, not even turning around to face the intruder. Her voice bore a heavy growl and sent Star ice cold shivers and taught Star to....fear her. Still Star stayed brave and didn´t move. She couldn´t bare to see her teacher in such distress and wondered, what could have caused it. The thought of that thing terrified Star.

"Please, I don´t mean to ....intrude...but I´m really .....worried." Trembled the student, as she approached the angry and sad storm, that was her teacher.

"WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND IN GO AWAY?!" She barked back, lashing at whoever there was at her worst. Finally, Professor Jasper turned her face to Star and threatingly bared her teeth. Her golden eyes were more yellow at that point and her pupils were narrowed down. Tears streamed down her face, that was visible swollen from the crying, especially her lips and eyes, that were yellow-gold on red. Professor Jasper´s whole aura was almost feral and Star could feel the heat emanating from it. Professor Jasper´s muscles tensed, as she found herself exposed to, what looked to her tear-blurred vision like a student.

Star shied back, now seriously terrified of her teacher, as tears shot in her eyes. The way, her teacher was threatening her, reminded Star of a wounded, angry dragon. Still she didn´t leave the room.

"Please, it´s m..me...Star! I w..will not t...tell anyone anything! P....Promise!" The student trembled in fear, though she felt bad for her teacher.

"It´s NONE of your business! Now ....FUCK off!!" Now, the normally kind and self restrained teacher no longer cared about hurting others, even her loyal student Star. Slowly she backed deeper into the shadows. Though, Star got the cues, she still could not just leave her teacher like this. It just hurt her too much inside.

"Why?" Asked Star in a defeated, but persistant tone, even though, she felt her stomach churning in fear. "What happened, that torments you so much?!" She cried, seriously hurt by her teacher´s sudden cruelty.

"GO! AWAY! Is that so hard to understand?! And close the door from the OUTSIDE!!" The huge teacher growled and approached Star a bit, to see, who the pestering intruder was.

"Why?....What did I EVER do to you? Please, I mean NO harm!" Star´s voice grew desperate and a bit louder, even though, she was horrified and her whole body shivered and she could barely breathe right. "You a..are ..sc..sc...scaring me!" Star now really cried and shied back again. Even though, the huge woman was still on her knees, she was still scary and extremely intimidating like this.

"GOOD! Now, for our both´s safety, I suggest you LEAVE!" Threatened the teacher, her fingers clawed in the floor like dragon talons, breathing heavily. Her voice was a bit quieter, but now seriously warning and threatening.

"FINE!" Screamed Star her last bravado and courage out of her body and fled the classroom as quickly as she could in what felt like running for her very life. In her tears, the student barely saw, where she ran and sought refuge in the girls bathroom, shutting herself into a toilet booth. She felt, that she was about to vomit in fear and did so. Never had Star ever seen her teacher so scary and threatening. The picture of the feral rage in the golden eyes has burned itself into the poor teenager´s soul. Star had just meant well. Whatever had brought her teacher into that state scared the soul out of Star and she no longer wanted to know what it was. Again, she threw up in fear and as she was finished, Star curled up and cried, shivering on her whole body, sorely regretting her poor decision. Suddenly, the air felt as cold as in midwinter. The whole experience felt like an extremely vivid night mare. It had to be. Just a nightmare. Just a deep breath and a scream and Star would wake up, but she didn´t. It wasn´t a dream. It was reality and that constricted Star´s insides, as she curled up even more. Now the faint scent of bitter vomit in the toilet began to spread, but Star was too weak and physically stunned to flush it down and the smell made her feel even more sick.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, the lunchbreak had long passed. While no one was missing Professor Jasper, since she had two hours free from teaching on that day, Star was already missed by Professor Morganite, their biology teacher.

"Star? Staar! Where are you? The lessons have started again twenty minutes ago!" Professor Morganite called out. The worried teacher began to search for the student everywhere. "That is not like her at all! There is something seriously wrong!" She muttered to herself.

Suddenly, the biology teacher heard a familiar voice screaming. It came from the bathroom. Professor Morganite hurried in and as she peered through the slit between door and floor, she saw Star curled up on the floor, crying. "Star, what happened? Please, open the door! Did you......throw up? Diamonds, what happened here?" She was seriously worried and tried to pry the door open. Normally, Professor Morganite would not even go near the student bathrooms, but this was serious and she was successful. Quickly, the teacher flushed down the vomit in the toilet and approached the student carefully, immediately figuring, what is going on. From her life with Ignys, she knew, what Star´s symptoms meant.

Star was in a severe shock.

Quickly, Professor Morganite carried Star to an empty classroom and wrapped her in her coat.

"What did I do wrong? What have I done? I´m so sorry, I didn´t mean to..." Star repeated over and over like a sorrowful mantra, quietly crying and shivering in her shock, her tears flowing and flowing. Her skin felt cold to Professor Morganite´s touch.

"You did nothing wrong, love!~ What happened? Did you and Professor Jasper fight? You look horrified!" Professor Morganite tried to soothe the horrified student and Star accepted the offered embrace of her biology teacher.

"Yes, kind of. I just...wanted to console her! She was crying and in pain. A LOT and then...she was really.....cruel and scary! A totally different person!! I hope, she will not hurt me, the moment, we see each other again!" Star told the teacher between heavy sobs.

"You did nothing wrong! It´s not your fault, love! You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. When she is like that, a being that is weaker than her, better leaves her alone, because she can lash out veeery violently. She will calm down and she will realize and be awfully sorry! Professor Jasper doesn´t hate you, nor is she cruel! Always remember that!" Explained Professor Morganite.

Finally, Star got warmer again and her sobs died down. "Yes, I threw up from all the fear, but I´m better now! Thank you." Star thanked with a hushed voice. The shock slowly wore off and Star´s muscles relaxed one after the other. "You have been insanely brave and you even care for Professor Jasper in her darkest hour! She will know to appreciate that soon, trust me!" Professor Morganite marveled at Star´s unwavering loyalty. She held out a hand to the student. "Do you think, you can join next lesson? I know, how exhausting such a thing is for you, so you can stay here for the rest of the lesson and rest, if you want." The teacher offered. Star nodded gratefully and laid down again. "Yes, I will come next lesson, promise! I´m so sorry, that I missed the last one!" Star apologized.

"No need to apologize, love! Horrible things can happen and now get some rest!" Professor Morganite smiled at her student. Shortly after, Star fell asleep, wrapped in Professor Morganite´s long coat.

* * *

 

Star managed to do well in the next lesson, but still her thoughts drifted to Professor Jasper from time to time. If she got better? Star wondered.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Ignys slowly calmed down and one by one, the things, that had happened, seeped in. The terrible phone call. The breakdown and ...Star. Star! She had come in, but Ignys had violently driven her off. Wait, really? Only slowly the memories returned to Ignys and she felt shattered, drained and tired. 

And awfully sorry.

* * *

 

Ignys managed to get herself together again and to conceal her breakdown in the last lesson for the day and the next couple days and the rest of the week, but every time she got home, Ignys was quiet and reclusive, burying herself in her work. 

* * *

 

"Ignys. What´s wrong? Why are you fleeing from all kinds of help?" asked Imogen during dinner on sunday evening that week, as Ignys began to slowly come back to her senses. 

"I´m not....ok, I ´m fleeing. It´s just...everything was so much too much for me! On monday, before my last lesson for the day, I got a phone call from one of my former comrades, you know, Leah Marshallsussmanite. She told me, that her neighbor and my former comrade and friend, you know, Ray Indicolite, could no longer bear the load of the PTSD and the flashbacks and..... comitted suicide. With the very gun I gave him, when he was recruited. He was my FRIEND! It hit me so hard, that I completely broke down. I hid in 137, the classroom of the seniors B, hoping, that I would be alone there. But then ..... Star came and....I lashed out on her... I´m....so.....sorry! I hope, she will recover from that, because, I was so unforgivably violent!" Ignys felt how she began to cry again. Her PTSD and her flashbacks and nightmares had been exceptionally horrible lately, leaving the usually very strong and resilient Ignys far more irritable and sensitive and vulnerable than usual. Imogen approached slowly and carefully to not startle Ignys and laid a hand on her back. 

Swiftly, Ignys hugged Imogen and buried her face in Imogen´s chest.

"Star will recover from this! I have talked to her after what happened between you. Yes, you gave Star a mortal frighten! She had a huge panic attack and cried in the bathroom. She was even sick from the fear and had thrown up, but she ok now. It would be the best, if you two talked, when you return to school on monday, but be very gentle and careful. The thing is, Star LOVES you! She was even willing to swallow a panic attack to try to help you! Just tell her, that your friend died and you are mourning and explain her, that you can be unstable and fiercely self-isolating, when you have a breakdown and that the best strategy is to wait a little and leave you alone, until you can talk again. She will understand. Star did that not on purpose, you know.." Imogen explained to her crying girlfriend and held her close. For hours, Ignys cried, but this time it was way less violent than back then in that classroom. Finally, she felt better.

"Thank you, Imogen! I will talk to Star and hope, that she can forgive me and trust me again somehow." Sighed Ignys.

After a long walk outside, Ignys finally felt clear in her head again, but she still felt awfully sorry. She fished for her repaired mobile phone to call Leah Marshallsussmanite. 

Beeep. "Marshallsussmanite speaking, how can I help you?" Answered a quiet and friendly, but tired deep voice. 

"Hi, it´s me, Ignys. I´m sorry for reacting so violently to your news and just disappearing. I was unable to handle the grief." Apologized Ignys.

"It´s ok, Ignys. I understand your pain and I totally understand your reaction. Trust me, I reacted just the same way, when I saw him, dead in his apartment and the suicide letter.. Maybe I reacted less violently and angrily than you, but I definitely felt the same!" Explained the other and accepted Ignys´ apology. She sounded very tired and weary, too. 

"Thanks Leah! I´m so grateful to have you! Even after the war, the fight goes on. Non stop. Day and night. Sometimes you cope fairly well and sometimes, you, well, don´t. I wish, it would be over one day, but it probably never will be...." Ignys siged deeply. She was sick and tired of all the figting and pain. 

"No problem! As long as you are not alone, the pain only feels half as bad, sadly others are not that fortunate." Leah sighed, too. She began to run out of words and the conversation began to drag.

"Yeah! I think, I should head home. Prepare for tomorrow´s classes..." 

"Wow!! I´m amazed, that you can be a teacher like that. You have always fascinated me with your strength and resilience and you probably always will..." Leah marveled. She herself was unable to be among people more than a couple of hours and was jobless because of her PTSD and flashbacks.

"Teaching gives me life. It will heal me, that I reach a point one day, where a bad day will bearable. I know that and I love my job. Even though, I´m a ticking bomb sometimes. Wish me luck, talking to the poor student, who accidentally ended up in the worst of my meltdown. I´m so sorry."

"I know, Ignys and I know, that if you explain, things will turn out ok. I´m even sure, that she will understand somehow. Both of you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time! Just be gentle, ok?" The other answered Ignys reassuringly.

"I will! Thanks, Leah. I hope we see eacher again, soon!" Ignys now said with a smile. 

"Yeah, me, too! It was so nice to hear from you, that you´re ok! See you! Bye." Now Leah´s voice sounded a lot happier. As both hung up, Ignys smiled. For the first time in a week and for the first time in a week, it seemed like, as if everything felt a bit brighter and more hopeful again.

* * *

 

Star meanwhile still fought with the aftermath of that scary encounter. Her parents watched her with great concern, as Star spent a lot of time just sitting in her room, staring out of the window or on a wall.

One day Star was sitting in her room again, staring in to nowhere, as suddenly a quiet knocking on her door startled her. She didn´t answer at first, but in the end she got up and let whoever knocked in without saying a single word or seeking eyecontact. It was her mother.

"Star, sweetie, what happened? You came home from school on monday and from then on you were like....shattered. You say no word, you barely eat and have nightmares and we are really worried." The slender woman began softly. Star listened, but still didn´t say anything. "You know, you can tell us anything. Any problems at school?"

Finally Star awoke from her mute stupor and looked up. "Professor Jasper happened. I heard her crying in one of those classrooms and wanted to help, but she didn´t want any help and lashed out...pretty...hard. She was really scary and I wonder, what I did wrong..."

"Oh! I´m so sorry, but it´s not your fault, sweetie. Really! There´s just one thing you have to know. Professor Jasper has been in the military, as you probably already know and now retired." Began Mrs. Sapphire quietly.

"Yeah, I know. But how does that have to do with her sudden cruelty?" Star wondered.

"When combatants come home, they bring the memories of all those things, they have experienced, heard, seen, home with them. As you know, war is a cruel, violent and terrible thing and so you experience horrible things and exactly those horrible things...do something with you." Explained her mother.

"Wait, is that like how that field trip accident changed me? With all those fears and nightmares and stuff?" It dawned to Star.

"Yes, exactly! Only that it´s not just one event, but many. Mrs. Jasper lost friends, comrades and all kinds of people she knew, probably saw them getting wounded and in the worst case, ..... even dying. She probably escaped getting injured and even death many times herself and now associates certain things with that horrible experience and it probably feels to her, as if she is experiencing it again and reacts accordingly to that. This is called PTSD. PTSD is short for "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" and this mental illness is more like a permanent mental injury of sorts. It comes with all kinds of symptoms like nightmares, self isolation, mental breakdowns, panic attacks and many more." Mrs. Sapphire explained, feeling bad for those suffering from it. 

"Wow! Now I understand! Thank you, mom. I never thought, that professor Jasper of all people would have such a thing! It´s just, we only know her as that strong and resilient and powerful person. So I was totally shocked, that she could have such a scary and huge breakdown!" Star more monologued to herself, than to her parents. She visibly relaxed and now openly smiled at both her parents. Her father stood a bit away from the scene in the doorframe. He did not quite know, how to react or what to say, but came closer anyways. 

"I´m sure, that things will be alright again sooner than you think, after you two have talked it out." Mr. Blakeley-Sapphire reassured.

"Yeah. It´s just, the image of her face has just burned itself in my head! I had nightmares, where she attacked me, because she could not tell me apart from an enemy!" Star shivered at the bare memory of that nightmare.

"I know, sweetie! That was very traumatizing for you, but I also know, that you will work this out with her. Like the great accident, because we know, that you are a very strong young lady!" Smiled Mrs. Sapphire. Star´s father nodded in agreement.

"We´ll see tomorrow!" Star answered quietly, but already with an a lot bolder and confident voice.

That night, Star could barely sleep, so nervous she was about the prospect of talking with Professor Jasper again after a week of not even daring to look at her. Still, Star fell asleep, but it was a light, dreamless sleep this time.

* * *

Next day at school, both, Star and her teacher were nervous. Both concealed it well, but those who knew them well enough, could still tell, that both were hiding something that stirrs them emotionally. After school, Professor Jasper sent all students home, except for Star, who shrank almost under her desk in fear, as the teacher approached. 

"Star? I know, that you are scared right now and I know why and I´m awfully sorry. Last week, I was told, that a friend and former comrade of mine died. We were very close, so it hurt me so much, that I was unable to handle it and had a huge breakdown. Actually, I haven´t had such a breakdown in almost three years! And then you come in... It´s my fault. How could you have known?" Professor Jasper began quietly.

Star looked up and saw a face, she had missed all week: Professor Jasper´s normal face.

"I have to apologize, too! You warned me and you didn´t even do a single thing to harm me, but I still pressed on. I should have seen and I actually DID get the cues and warning signs, but I just couldn´t leave you like this. I know now, that it was the wrong strategy and you don´t have to apologize! I understand now! You just gave me a huge panic attack, because you were so angry and scary and threatening and I dreaded that you might snap and harm me, to be honest, but now I know, that you wouldn´t!" Star smiled. She still was a bit unsure about coming closer, but opened both her hands.

"I didn´t know, that it was you at first. You were in my breakdown just an intruder, I didn´t want to show my weakness to, so I wanted to scare you away, even after I figured, that it was you. When I feel like this, I just want to be left alone. I would chase every living being away, no matter what species, so it was nothing personally directed against you. You were just a living being at the wrong place during the wrong time. Still, I´m so awfully sorry, you don´t know how! I know, how deeply scaring you can traumatize you, how deeply seeing me like that would traumatize you and I did it anyway!" Professor Jasper apologized. Slowly and carefully, she approached and looked at Star with the most nonthreatening face she could make. 

Star felt her teacher´s remorse and sadness and with her background knowledge, she knew, that the danger is over and she could come closer. So she did. Slowly and cautiously and the huge teacher did not move an inch. 

"Please Professor, you don´t have to apologize! PTSD is a terrible thing, that makes you do harmful things. Both on yourself and others, before you even notice and regain control! Professor Morganite explained me and I totally get it now. If you are feeling like last week, I will stay away and suggest everyone to do the same, telling them, you need a break! In my panic attack, things look a whole lot scarier, than they are and stick into my nightmares, but now, with a clear head, I know, that you won´t hurt me. Right? I felt so...... afraid. Even you, the save haven in my fears, are scary..." Star explained with a quiet, a bit hushed voice.

"Yes, Star, I AM a big, scary woman, always been and always will be, but there is one thing you can count on: I will NEVER, I repeat, NEVER harm or hurt you, if I can help it! Promise! What I did was unforgiveable and will never happen again! I swear, by every spark of energy inside me! I have hurt your trust once and once is twice too much!" Apologized Professor Jasper. Sadness and remorse were now clearly visible.

"Can I come closer?" Asked Star shyly and opened her arms, a single tear in her right eye. 

"Yes, of course!" Her teacher opened her arms as well and awaited Star patiently. She wanted to do things, that went wrong, right again. No matter, how long it would take. Her face was now gentle, warm and nonthreatening and she lowered herself on one knee to signal her peaceful intention.

Star came very slowly closer and finally, yet very cautiously, took the opened hands. "You have been through so many awful things and have lost so many! Mom and Professor Morganite told me, that you have been in the military and I admire, how you still can be the teacher you are and we will find a way to make our both wounds at least bearable, if we can´t heal them! Together!" Smiled the student and as she felt, how gently Professor Jasper hugged her, Star felt a lot safer again and relaxed into the embrace.

"I´m so unspeakably proud of you, Star! You have come so far and you are even willing to care in my darkest hour, when I was nothing but hostile and scary and ...cruel! Thank you for being the way you are. I´m so grateful and impressed and it´s sad, that your insane bravery and, who are we kidding, recklessness of sorts were not rewarded!" Now, Professor Jasper did not hide her tears. She trusted her faithful student´s unwavering loyalty. 

"Professor, I owe you a WHOLE LIFE!! You saved my life. More than once and gave me a chance! It´s the least I can do! I love you, how a student can love a teacher and I will always be there, if you want it so." Star answered, more into Ignys´ chest than anywhere else. "And I will never tell anyone anything, who is not your family or closest friend, promise!"

"I know and I trust you"

This sentence hit Star straight in the heart. She happily cried into the embrace and felt, how her teacher used her powers, to carry her pain and nightmare pictures with her. Yes, her teacher didn´t hate her at all and was awfully sorry and Star understood. 

What looked like a rift, tarnishing their friendship, only deepened it, quietly adding another layer of trust in both´s heart. Many years, lots of power and many ranks apart, but yet somehow connected and so close. 

A friendship connected by the two strongest forces in the universe:

Agape and life. 

Now and always. Through light and darkness. A friendship, that was so complicated in ways, but yet so..simple. And both knew, that it was strong and unique and would last. In all days. Ugly days as well as beautiful or bland days.

* * *

* * *

 


	9. Icing Flames - Scorching Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star discovers, that she has dreamwalking power. Though not as strong as that of a half gem or even a full one, but still strong enough to wield. 
> 
> Ignys Jasper is always and only known as the strong and unbreakable one, but oh how far ist that from the truth! Her traumas and her pain cause her to almost loose herself in disturbing and dangerous nightmares. Her student offering to help her is the only way to avert that danger. But will she be able to help Professor Jasper before it´s too late or will both be lost to the nightmare realm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can already see in the beginning, this work is different to the others. I used two different tenses to underline the difference between the dream/nightmare realm und the physical reality.  
> In the dream sequences, I used a lot of elipses and shortened sentences to visualize the intangability of the situation and each dream-/mindscape is a visualisation of the abstract stuff, that goes on in Ignys´ psyche. And that is A LOT and DARK! Ignys has been through so much more pain and fight can most of us can probably imagine! So some parts are a bit darker than the usual content of this series.  
> Warning: All of you, who have hydrophobia or similar you should steer clear of this one, if you get easily triggered by content like this!
> 
> Otherwise, I hope the new style matches the occasion! If you have question, don´t hesitate to ask them in the comments!! Thanks!

 

**Icing Flames -Scorching Ice**

 

Where am I? What is this place?

Whispers, rumbling, sizzling

Twilight.

Darkness.

Cold.

Heat.

Blinding light.

Can´t breathe

Heavy

Rattling of metal on metal.

Muted

Muffled, haunting noises.

Can´t see anything

A figure in the dark void. In the endless, spanning nowhere.

A strong figure

Holding a small figure

Fighting

Everything is spinning and moving, but I don´t get swept away. I fly in a storm.

Eyes. Scorching sun-eyes, burning my soul, in a tired, pale face, surrounded by fire. White, yellow, blue...

A beautiful face. Wild, terrifying, pain ridden. Iron determination taking out all emotion, a mask, iron mask, iron grip, iron rattling.

I can´t look in those eyes.

I can´t look in those eyes!

I CAN`T LOOK IN THOSE EYES!!

I CAN`T!!!!

They burn me!!

Wheels of fire

Suns

being born

dying

dark shadows underneath them!

It´s cold

dark

I´m shivering.

Her glare hurts.

Her will hurts. Hitting with an iron rod.

Again and again.

A hailstorm, shattering the frail chrystal sphere.

Shattering space and time.

She burns.

Cloaked in cold, burning flames, smoldering ice, sparks of ice shards flying.

She cries.

Her tears are stars, drifting in the void, drops of pure, blinding light, falling upwards, a rain in reverse.

She holds someone.

A frail someone.

ME!

Me?

Her silhouette blurs.

Her movements shake.

Weaken

Fade

She cries.

Cries out, howls..

A hailstorm in reverse.

A hailstorm of diamond orbs in reverse.

The sea has become the sky...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The earth shakes under the horrible death cry of the flame, the dragon

Shakes, crumbles, deafens

Drowns me

RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Burns me

Shatters me

Echoes through all and nothing

Can´t breathe

I can´t breathe

fading

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Splitting my head

Shattering my heart

Shaking my soul

In crushing darkness

I fall

She falls

We fall

Fall

The golden eyes close, the light fades with them and the heat...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....

The ocean resonates her cry everywhere.

This can´t be!

Her falling.

Drowning in herself...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I try to wake her up.

No avail.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANOOOOOOOO!" She screamed and cried out in despair.

* * *

 

Gasping Star woke up, covered entirely in cold, cutting sweat, coughing, her breath wheezy. The nightmare still burned in her bones. This nightmare was not at all like her nightmares. Not at all!! Her nightmares were all about being chased or

drowning.

This was the only thing, THAT nightmare and hers had in common. It was not HER dream. Not HER head. That thing was sure! That realm was far too violent and volatile and ancient and powerful to be hers.

BUT

If it was not her dream, who´s dream was it? Why and how did Star end up in another persons dream? An appearently powerful persons dream. A mystics dream.

Thinking about that calmed Star down, but it also caused her splitting headache. The same headache as in that dream realm.

She inhaled deeply. "Phhuuuuuuu! THAT was one real serious nightmare! And I thought, MY dreams about drowning could not get any worse!"

Star violently shook her head to get the intangible, creeping feeling from the corners of her mind.

"Breathe! You can breathe! It was just a dream! Uaarrgh Sh**, my head! What kind of trip was that?" She muttered, rubbing her throbbing temples. Her head still hurt like hell and she still felt slouggish, drunk, exhausted.

Exhausted, as if she had done a rigorous training session with her teacher all night.

Why and how did SHE, her cherished teacher and mentor appear in her dreams and in such a wrecked, yet outright terrifying state?

She had never ruled Stars dreams so violently as last night. Never at all....

Maybe moon knew something about it or...

Star dared not to finish that thought. Just the thought of telling her teacher that dream, caused her mild panic. She had to take all of her head together to recognize, analyse and dissolve the panic, concentrating on each breath, as if she was preparing herself for a dive. It helped! Her head got clear again and her inside felt all healthy and warm once more.

* * *

 

At school she was greeted by Selene Moonstone looking at her, as if she was some kind of ghost.

"Hey Star! Holy smokes, you look WRECKED!" she gasped.

"eeeerr, thanks? Ok, I had a horrible night... Yeah, drowning, while burning in some fire-entitie´s glare in the same dream is NOT what I´d call a nice nightsleep. It felt so ...WEIRD! As if I was in a ..... stranger´s ...dream... Guys, I....arrgh, forget it!"

"Shoot, that sounds horrifying! Your whole energy code is messed up!" Selene Moonstone shot out, inspecting Star from top to bottom.

"Moon, you can read and analyse the binary code of auric fields. Can you tell me, what´s wrong with me?"

"Mmmhh, let´s see... You had a Trigon alignment with a HUGE outburst of fire-coded life-force, your concenter, the air code sprung open widely, especially on the psychic, mental plane, at least your breath did not physically tick off."

"Eaahh, is that good or bad?"

"On one hand it´s good, but on the other hand, when such raw power like you have goes haywire, it can be pretty nasty! Mhhh.... You were dreamwalking."

"Dreamwalking?"

"Yes, it´s a rare, psychic power. Most of the times, it occurs randomly and only with people, you´re very closely connected with and you´re connected with Prof IJ in the strongest way possible - through the Tetragon flame. It´s coursing through you, so..."

"Wowowoa, hold your horses! Rewind and remix! You´re telling me, that I waltzed into my teacher´s dream? WTF? Never! As if SHE has such nightmares of such exposure and desparation, Never!"

"Yes, you did! You were there for a reason. I don´t know everything about this or understand it, but my screenings have never failed me, EVER!"

"What am I supposed to do NOW?"

"Try to get in touch with your psychic senses. Tip: use your dominant. Your dominant is water, it will help you."

* * *

 

DRRRIIIIIIIINNNGGG!!

School began.

Professor Jasper looked a bit tired, one could clearly see that she had a bad nightsleep, even though, she performed 150:100 like always. Seeing the small shades under her teacher´s eyes made Star almost vomit--they were exactly the same as in the nightmare!! Did her teacher exchange a knowing gaze of shared darkness with her? Star trembled, giving her best to conceal her rut. Still she was pretty spaced and tired, so Mrs. Jasper took Star aside. Star felt sick.

"Are you ok, Star? You look horrible! You look like you didn´t sleep."

Star steeled herself, bracing herself for the inevitable.

"I DID sleep, but had about the godmother of all nightmares! It was weird! How do I.....say that? Please! I don´t comprehend anything anymore and ....you ...look tired!...." Star stammered, firmly locking her gaze on her shaking hands, shifting uncomfortably.

"Tell me, what it was! Please! I had a pretty bad nightmare, too!" Mrs. Jasper´s voice suddenly was unusually somber and serious. Her student sensed dread.

"Ok,...I.I..was...I don´t know....underwater? Yeah, I couldn´t breathe, so, yeah. It was all creepy and dark and so COLD!" Star shivered, her voice trembling, having trouble resuming. "Everything moved in spiralling motion and.....*Star took a deep breath* "and....you were there! You..You...looked so......tired and desperate and yet.......terrifying? You were fighting; you tried to save someone, someone small, but I couldn´t recognize the face. You were burning! In pain and crying tears of light and it was impossible to look into your eyes, as it is impossible to directly look into the sun! And then *sob* ... your scream shattered space and time and everything shook under it and you *sob* passed out and everything went...*sob* dark and you fell, I fell, we both fell! It was so horrible!!" Star openly cried now, slumping her shoulders, pulling her legs closer and protectively wrapped her arms around herself.

"That....is indeed...bad!" Her teacher´s voice cracked in audible concern. She has become paler and paler and the grey shadows under her eyes have turned into visible rings, her pale lips shaking.

"I had EXACTLY the same dream. Actually I had this dream multiple times since...you know..it, but this was the first time, a third person was in it and this person was....you! I couldn´t send you away! You were ...dreamwalking! It was just a matter of time, you had your first dreamwalk. I just hoped, you´d strand in a ...safer dream..." Her teacher almost whispered.

With every word Star shied further away.

"No! No! This is not happening! You don´t deserve this pain! WHY? HOW?" Star weiled, horrified by that dream, horrified by her teacher´s stamina and strength, by the fact, that she´d only stop fighting for the one she´s entrusted to protect in her death.

Her teacher said nothing and just pulled the teenager into a firm hug, holding her firmly for several minutes, until Stars crying faded and she could breathe steadily again.

"Dreams are a reflection of what happens inside of you. In them your psyche processes things, you have experienced, your feelings and your very own energy´s behavior, so bad experiences can result in bad dreams. I overheard Selene explaining you the elemental auric codes of an individual, so you will understand, what I´m talking about, when I tell you, that my water-code was recessive, semi-dormant at a clarity index of 70%."

"Yes, I understand, but what is with it?"

"When I had to catch you in Dark Rock cave, this same code violently unlocked to dominant, wide open, clarity index 99.99%, the same way my other codes are, my fire code and my concenter force air fused and the Tetragon happened, before I even was ready for that, disrupting and messing up my individual code pretty much. Together with the memory from war and the constant worry, that once I could not make it, whenever such perilious situations come back to my mind it´s an explosive mixture! You should not have seen THAT in your first dreamwalk!" The teacher finished.

Now it was Star, who actively hugged her teacher. Her crying has stopped and she now stood strong for her obviously stressed teacher.

"I can actually feel that! Feel you! This is what made the dream even more horrible, because I could neither say or do anything, but I pledge, that, when I should happen to strand in your dream again, that I will do everything in my power to help you! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND FREE AND YOU DESERVE HONOR!!!" Star pledged, straightening herself, with her right fist on her chest.

Her blue eyes betrayed her fire and her spirit, making her face even more beautiful.

Mrs. Jasper was proud and deeply touched by her young protegé, smiling fondly, but also with deep concern in her eyes. She knew, that this would happen. That Star would want to return, what was done for her and close the circle, but was surprised by the sudden regality and maturity of Stars face. The student now radiated the aura of a warrior, without intending to be one.

"I see, you are very eager and I see a great strength in you, but this will be VERY difficult, painful and straining! It will drive even your strong water code to its limits and I don´t want anyone to get hurt, because of .. me! I´m serious! If you begin this, there is no return! Do you still want to do this? Think about it THOROUGHLY!! But however you decide, I will ALWAYS help and support you in your effort. I know, you will do the right thing, Star! I´m very proud of you! Now, go, you have Chemistry and you shouldn´t be too late in class!"

Star nodded. "I will and I will think it through thoroughly, promise!" With that, Star left the room, smiling back at her teacher.

After her student has left the room, she sighed deeply. Her protegé, never had she thought, that Star would undergo such a metamorphosis! Star had almost absolute control over the symptoms of her anxiety, without unhealthy supression, has friends and a great deal of Valor. Her standing up to issues has gained her respect in a wide range.

So Mrs. Jasper feared, that Star could have a setback from entering the dark realms of heavy nightmares like that she had entered in her first dreamwalk. Never could the teacher forgive herself for that.

Brooding in her worries, she sat in the room for half of her break, until the teacher decided to do some preparations for the next lesson, when she suddenly saw the small giftbox, Star had given her on her first anniversery. Every year so far, Star has given her a small gift for anniversery, but this one was exceptionally special: A golden star from an old uniform, her father has given her, for exactly THAT purpose.

A wave of fondness washed all bitter remnants from the nightmare away, leaving the matriarch smiling.

* * *

 

After school, Star has retreated in her room, as soon as possible to think the decision.

Entering her teacher´s dreams to help her getting her code into align again was the least she owed that woman, who willingly and actively risked her very life to save her, but Star knew, that she could loose herself in the process. Undoing all her progress she had made so far! Even worse, she could get lost on the way back to herself, or her body could tick off and do serious harm on itself, without her knowing. Star had read every piece of information she could find about dreamwalking, which made that decision even harder.

Not finding a solution, Star remembered, what her friend Moon told her.

"Water is your dominant, it can help you. OF COURSE, maybe a bit swimming could help me get my head together!" Star said loudly to herself.

It was too cold to go into the little bay, even for her, so she resorted to the local swimming pool. The water and the steady movements really helped Star to calm down, but the noises of the other people got her off track repeatedly and bothered her.

So Star prepared herself and descended, listening to the quiet, muffled sounds below, closing her eyes. Everything has come, with her breath, to a total stop, leaving a deep silence in her head.

Watching the surface and the people swimming above was strangely relaxing and calming. Probably none of them noticed Star underneath. A peaceful, breathless and liminal crystal world.

Now analysing both options was way easier with them laying on the perfectly clean opearation table of a clear, centered mind and everything else laid to peace. Even deep in her thoughts, Star always watched out for the tingling, that marked the return of her breath to action, but with years of continous practice it came later and later. It didn´t scare the teenager anymore and most of the time, she would ascend, when the tingling has turned into a sensation of warmth, almost heat radiating from the diaphragm through the entire form, but never later to prevent accidents.

I will do it!

I will fight at her side and take whatever it brings!

I may not seem like a warrior, but when times call for drastic measures, I AM!

I am Star Sapphire, protegé, student and apprentice of Ignys Jasper, firewalker, dragon of Delmarva!

I have come this far, so I CAN DO THIS!

I will do this!

The decision felt right, so it was settled.

Moon was right about the water helping Star. Nowhere else she had such a clear mind as under calm water. Thinking about how water has given her horror only three years ago, Star smiled gratefully, remembering, how she had come this far, with the patience and empathy and encouragements of her teacher during the continous lessons with her.

Star let out a small whisp of her breath and watched it ascending, little drops of diamond falling upwards, a gentle rain in reverse. Her destiny was settled, but Star has never felt this satisfied and serene before.

In the moment, the gentle tingling kicked in, a hand grabbed her at her wrist, disturbing the serenity, but she stayed level headed, smoothly and calmly fending the hand off and ascended slowly, on purpose. No one except her teacher and her parents had the right to hurry Star in her element and she knew for sure, that this intruding hand was NOT that of either.

"Miss, are you ok?" a middle aged man asked, mustering her with brown eyes full of concern. He actually seemed nice and like he had a real frighten. Star took another deep, collected breath before answering.

"Yes, I am. Why?" Star asked, confused. She had not been under THAT long, or had she?

"Errrm, you were down there for a REALLY long time and didn´t move. I don´t know, how long, but I bet it was at least something around four minutes!" He answered in a voice between "how the hell is that even possible" and "whatever".

"What?! Seriously?! It felt like one or two minutes, but not FOUR!" exclaimed the teenager in utter surprise.

"But, thanks for caring! Sorry, that I gave you a concern! I practice diving for three years now and I have a good teacher, so don´t worry and tell the others, that I´m ok, whoever I concerned and did not want to call me out for it." Star solved the situation smoothly.

Star has decided.

Everything felt so ...new and brilliant. Since all worries were gone, Star had a pleasant night again that night.

* * *

 

The next day at school, Star could barely wait to tell Mrs. Jasper about her decision, but she still felt nervous about it.

"Hey Star, you look so happy, like you made the right decision! How did you decide?" It was Moon, who was almost as nervous as Star.

"I will do it! I have taken every factor into consideration and you were right! The water helped me a LOT! Under water I was able to figure everything out, as if I´m using an additional layer of my mind! That´s so cool!" Stars eyes beamed and her face looked refreshed and happy again.

"Whoah! And you had a horror of water three years ago! You´ve changed so much! It´s simply fascinating to watch you turning from constantly scared into a strong and brave woman! You actually have a lot in common with Prof. IJ now! She will be happy to hear your decision. Trust me, she needs you, now more than ever!"

"Hey, Moon, thank you! For everything!" Star thanked her friend fondly.

"Remember, we´re always here to help you, too!" Sol Topaz offered.

"Yeah, she´s right! You can count on us! This will be a tough ride, but you´re never alone!" Emily Bixbite agreed.

The rest of the class nodded, except for Zane and Xelia, who looked away jealously.

"Thank you, guys! I love you all!" Star was touched to the verge of tears, but deeply happy to have such amazing classmates.

* * *

 

At the end of school she searched for Mrs. Jasper and found her in the classroom of their parallel-class. She was preparing the lessons for the next day and was deeply concentrated, so Star knocked a bit meekly at the door frame. The teacher looked up and smiled immediately upon seeing her protegé.

"What is it, Star? You look so.... settled!" Her teacher asked.

"I have decided." Star answered. "I will do it and do, whatever it takes, to help you! You have my eternal loyalty, call me and I am there!" pledged Star, with her fist on her chest.

Her voice sounded determined, collected and almost regal. A very serious, professional tone, that was unusual for the normally a bit meek, but otherwise cheerful Star Sapphire.

"But it will be very strainous and hard!! Have you really thought everything through?"

"Yes, I have locked everything out by doing it underwater, I have read ever bit of information about dreamwalking, I have prepared all I could! Like you taught me! And still, my decision is immovably settled and no power can stop me from helping you with this! Every fibre of my being tells me, that it´s time!" Star declared with a clear and confident voice.

"Have you talked with Selene about that?"

"Yes, she is an expert in this matter and has helped me a LOT!"

Mrs. Jasper sighed. "Alright, then. Let´s get started! First you have to know the composition of my energy, but before we begin, you have to know, that everything I tell you now is EXTREMELY personal and confidential! Do you promise me, that you don´t tell ANYTHING to ANYONE? This knowledge in the wrong hands is VERY dangerous for all involved!"

Star lowered herself on one knee, crossing her hands in the millenia old Diamond over her chest and pledged with utmost seriousness and honesty. The ceremonial aura was almost tangible. The young warrior before her had little in common with the fragile girl, she has saved three years ago. Her spirit shone brightly, like a real star.

"I, Star Sapphire, your student, protegé and apprentice, pledge under your witness, by everything that is sacred to me, the eternal flame, that connects us, by the supreme Trigon and the Diamonds, that every word you speak, every deed you do, revealing your innermost, will be subject of my utmost confidentiality and I pledge to protect it with my very life! Your trust is more than I deserve and it will be NOT in vain!!"

Mrs. Jasper felt herself reminded of her army days, when the recruits would pledge allegience to the flag and the sisterhood and for a moment she was flashed by her student´s sincerity and unconditional loyalty. A tear sneaked on her cheak, which she briskly wiped away. The teacher knew, that Star would be there...

And so Stars journey as a dreamwalker and spirit warrior began. Under her teachers rigid training regiment, the student steeled her spirit and psyche, studying each energy composition of each, her teacher and herself. The knowledge of practically her teacher´s soul and spirit weighed heavy on Star, but she knew, that she would never be alone on this journey and matured further under the responsibilites such power and knowledge brought. Star learned how to raise psychic shields, how to elude energetical attacks and fend off energetical vampirism and how to initiate the Tetragon flame. Not all worked on spot and often Star ended up with a huge headache and totally out of breath, forced to take a step back, but she didn´t give up, no matter what.

"I give you as a homework, that you do and practice everything, that strengthens and stabilizes you, that you fine-tune your three layers onto each other and that YOU. STAY. SAFE! No matter what you do!! The time is running!!"

Star did every homework, enjoying a full and enriching life, feeling, how her psychic powers grew along with her emotional, mental and physical strength. Everyday she went to either the local swimming pool or the small bay to fine tune into her water code, enjoying the feeling diving and swimming gave her. She practiced her dreamwalking in dreams her teacher has build for her as artificial training grounds, with the conditions perfectly under control, watching Stars progress with great pride and relief.

* * *

 

One night they were back! The nightmares to haunt the teacher again, but she was afraid to call her student and even built walls to keep her out, too big the fear, that her nightmares could destroy Star in them, too. Every day at school, Mrs. Jasper looked worse than the day before, struggling to give her usual best to conceal her exhaustion.

Then the inevitable happened.

It was a friday, after school. Only Selene Moonstone, Star Sapphire and Professor Jasper were left in the classroom. Selene was about to go home, when suddenly the teacher turned even paler and-

passed out.

Her head fell limply on the desk, her hand almost breaking the pencil in a vice grip. She groaned as if she was in the middle of a rigorous fight.

"AAAHHh!! What´s going on???" Selene panicked.

Star didn´t answer and immediately took charge.

"There´s no time for explanations!!! Mrs. Jasper is in DIRE. NEED. and GRAVE. DANGER!!! Moon, quick, run to the hospital wing, get a matress and as many pillows and blankets as possible!! I can´t leave her now! Please!!"

Star threw Mrs. Jaspers keys to Selene. "The green key is the general key. It fits in any room of the school. The hospital wing is in 102, first floor!!"

"Ok!" Selene hurried off. Star meanwhile dragged her unconcious teacher from behind her desk and laid her on the floor on her anorak and sweater and shirt, covering her with Selenes Anorak and the teacher´s own. She supported her teacher´s head on her lap and was deeply disturbed, how pale, how grey, sickly and exhausted she looked. Gently Star swiped a strand of the platinum hair from Mr. Jasper´s forehead, which was feverishly hot. "Shhh! I´m here! I´ve got you! I´ll always be here!" Star gently whispered. The normally strong and highly active teacher now laid like a majestic tree, struck down by a lightning, her breath was a bit erratic and even stopped for a couple moments from time to time. Star had already removed everything, that could hinder her teacher´s breathing, but it had to do with the nightmare she was caught in.

A few minutes later, Selene returned, hauling a matress with multiple pillows and blankets on it into the classroom. Both lifted Mrs. Jasper on the matress, supporting her head with the pillows and covering her with the blankets. Star laid one pillow and one blanket next to the matress, the spot, where her teacher had been laying before.

"Moon! Please, lock us in, the last thing we now need is intruders! Leave the key in the lock, close the curtains and turn off the light! I will dreamwalk now, she´s calling me! Could you please watch over us, while I´m gone? When my breath stops for too long, for the love of the Diamonds, wake me! The same for her. She may be able to take that, but I´m not and I´m the only one who´s authorized to know, what´s going on!!"

"Ok, Star, but please! FOR! THE! LOVE! OF! THE! DIAMONDS! STAY! SAFE!" Selene hissed, trembling in concern.

"I will!" Star promised, hugged her friend, laid down and prepared for the journey.

She almost immediately fell asleep and Selene began her watch...

* * *

 

"I´m here, where are you?"

Dark skies over the open ocean.

The ocean is churring, high waves reach for the skies.

A heavy, perfect storm.

It´s pretty cold.

I brace my self for the worst, setting my wings right to the gusting wind, which thrashes through my hair.

"Please! Come!! I NEED YOU!! I CAN`T.....Gnnnnnn....!!" It´s her voice. Faint, tired, desperate.

It comes from the ocean.

From UNDER the ocean.

Into my mind.

I know, what to do.

"Fire, eternal, make me strong! Grant me the power to penetrate the deep and drive away the darkness. Strengthen my Valor in times of fight! Grant me force!"

"Earth, make me enduring! Grant me the power to last, to bear the deep and make my wings unbreakable, so they are my shield! Make this form my fortress and my psyche tough as your foundation, rooted firmly in the deep! Grant me stamina!"

"Air, make me agile and swift! Grant me the power to return, what has been given to me, make me a breath, that is a perfect blade and a mighty mast and strong sails! Make my wings huge, so they free us! Help me to restore the balance lost! Grant me your fusion with fire!"

"Water, make me adaptiv to all that comes! Grant me the power to solve whatever awaits me, make me one with you, so the ocean doesn´t turn on me, give me a voice, help me to bring healing, change and serenity to her suffering mind! Make my energy fluent, like you are, so we close the circle!"

"Time, oh time! I plead you, grant me time outside time!" I hastily mumble.

Upon summoning, I feel how my elements spring into action, aiding me.

As I retract my wings, I feel time fading.

I plummet.

Head on.

Impact.

....

Cold.

Green-grey twilight.

Churring waters, that want to toss me around.

Deeper.

Deeper.

Deeper.

Darkness.

Cold, crushing darkness.

I´m shivering, but this time, I´m stronger.

I can act.

Look for her.

Again.

Whispers, rumbling, sizzling

Darkness.

Cold.

As I go deeper, I feel her, see her, find her.

Heat.

Blinding light.

Can´t breathe

Rattling of metal on metal.

Muffled, haunting noises.

Can barely see anything

A figure in the dark void. In the endlessly spanning nowhere.

Glowing in a gold-orange light.

A strong figure

Covered in chains this time.

Fighting

Everything is spinning and moving, but I don´t get swept away. I fly in a storm.

Her eyes.

Scorching sun-eyes, burning my soul, in her tired, pale face, surrounded by fire. White, yellow, blue...

A beautiful face. Wild, terrifying, pain ridden. Iron determination takes out all emotion, makes it a mask, an iron mask. Iron grip, iron rattling.

I can´t look in those eyes.

I can´t look in those eyes!

I CAN`T LOOK IN THOSE EYES!!

I CAN`T!!!!

They burn me!!

Wheels of fire

Suns

being born

dying

dark shadows underneath them!

It´s cold.

Dark.

I´m shivering.

Her glare hurts.

Her will hurts.

Hitting with an iron rod.

Again and again.

A hailstorm, shattering the frail chrystal sphere.

Shattering space and time.

But this time, I endure her burning gaze.

I´m one with this mayhem, I feel its power, her power.

She burns.

Cloaked in icing, burning flames, scorching, smoldering ice, sparks of ice shards flying.

She cries.

Her tears are stars, drifting in the void, drops of pure, blinding light, falling upwards, a rain in reverse.

Her silhouette blurs.

Her movements shake.

Weaken

Fade

She cries.

I feel her pain. It´s almost impossible to bear! Old, unbridled, grief, worries, fear of vulnerability, the crushing burden of responsibilities, rage.

I open my arms, reaching a hand to her, knowing it all and knowing what to do, feeling empathy and compassion radiating from my heart.

"you´re not alone! Your wars are over! The more you fight, the more your emotions will bind you and you will eventually loose yourself! Let go! It´s over! You´re not alone!"

"But... I.. have to ....fight....stay...strong! I...I... have.... responsibilities! I...can´t be ....! I..can´t surrender to..THIS!!! Have to....reform...rearrange...!" Her voice thunders, echoes, hurts in my mind. It´s raspy and fierce and..... desperate, clinging to what is left of her strength, the vice of her stubborn will not letting loose. She yanks at the chains, but with every move, the warrior grows weaker and weaker.

"I know! I feel you! I see this! I see YOU!! It´s totally ok to be exhausted, to be vulnerable. You taught me to acknoledge fear to keep panic from acting out and spralling out of control, but now, you refuse to acknoledge vulnerability? It´s just the same process! Trust me!"

"But it feels so horrible! I feel so... helpless! I´m not supposed to.........."

Her eyes repeatedly fall shut. She is a pale, as if she was already dead, drowned, deep rings under her eyes.

"Yes, it does! You know, it´s not bad to be vulnerable! Everyone feels weak and vulnerable and even helpless from time to time, I bet even the Diamonds! It´s even GOOD to SHOW vulnerability! Then your friends can help you getting better and you don´t have to fight it alone! You have fought every fight in a team as an excellent teamplayer, but not THIS fight, the most important of all! You have to let this all out to heal! Yes, it´s messy and dark and hurts like hell, but it`s important!"

"But when I stop fighting, then...."

"You will see and acknoledge and be free! I promise!" I approach and hug her in the pile of chains. She stops yanking and gradually her tension looses.

I just hold her.

Despite her burning heat.

Despite the cold.

Despite the burden of the water.

I will stay!

* * *

 

Selene Moonstone patiently and vigilantly watched her sleeping friend and passed out teacher. Nothing happened for a really long time. Mrs. Jaspers breath was still a bit uneven and erratic, even stopping completely from time to time, to just resume again shortly after.

Suddenly, the teacher loosened her vice grip around her pencil, her hands unclenched, the pencil fell out and rolled off quietly. Her entire body relaxed gradually and warily; and slowly, tears began to stream down her face. She openly cried in her sleep, shivering. It stung Selene into her heart, how heartbreakingly vulnerable the tall, strong woman looked. Almost fragile. Selene felt the verge of tears, as tears began to stream down her friend´s face as well. She gently stroked over both´s cheak, brushing their sweat stained hair from their forehead.

"Shhh! It´s ok! I´m here! I´ve got you! You´re not alone!" the psychic soothed, watching with relief, how both relaxed more and more.

* * *

 

She shivers feverishly.

I burn.

But it´s ok.

The chains, that held her down in a vice grip, disappear, melting away like warm wax in a flame.

Her eyes fall shut again.

She´s even too weak to stay concious - even here in her realm.

"I´ve got you. Let go. I´ll hold you. Protect you. Bring you home. Just let me show you, there´s another way, like you did for me!" My voice is so strange. It´s a lacrimal, balmy sing-song.

"May the circle be open, be closed, wide and unbroken, as we met, we parted, we meet again! So it was, is and will be!"

With this words, I gently bend over her, giving her my breath of healing and serenity.

Like she gave me the breath of life and strength.

Cool lips on warm.

Breath flowing into breath.

Wind to storm.

Fire meeting fire.

Sacred union.

Sisterhood.

I feel, how we unite, melting into one being for a moment.

A cosmic being, that does not breathe, but feel, vibrate, heal, promise.

Her breath burns me, but it also cleanses, energizes.

I let go.

I simply hold her.

"Yes, be what is now time for you to be! You´re more than just a warrior! You are a matriarch, a queen. A rightful queen and you know, what righteous queens have? A wide and closely knit support system! You don´t always have to stand at the frontlines and not every trouble is a frontline! Please allow yourself to be genuinely happy again and just SPARKLE!" I smile.

I cry.

She cries.

But it´s happy tears!

Stars, blue, white and orange, dancing and spiralling in a silky darkness.

The storm is over.

The ghastly current is gone.

We float.

Amongst stars.

She looks so peaceful, even smiles.

The colours are returning to her, as I hold her and whisper serenity like prayers.

Suddenly she begins to glow in her orange-golden light again, but gentle and etherial this time, floating out of my arms as I let her go.

The flames become a luxurious and breathtakingly beautiful gown and cape.

The flying chrystal shards a crown and intricate jewellery and the light forms wings for a moment, which retract immediately.

Her smile radiates serenity, happiness, relief and absolute beauty, illuminating the deep, way more than my gently bluish-white light could.

"Yes, it IS time to sparkle and time for healing! Thank you so much! You may be student there, but in this realm, this situation, you were a ...sister! I´m so proud!" She beams.

I cry...again, overwhelmed from the honour of being called "sister" by HER of all people.

"I will return to sleep now and please, come back soon! Moon is loyally keeping watch over our bodies and is probably worried!"

"Yes, I will! Thank you, two, for everything! I promise, things will heal and be okay, even though, it will take time. The circle is closed. You, my student, have been the teacher this time!"

With that my beloved, cherished mentor disappears and I gently fade back, too...

Her happy, deep laughter, rechoice and angelic singing rings through the whole ocean, that is now a beautiful, brilliant sapphire blue.

I laugh and rechoice, too, as I return home....

* * *

 

With every minute passing, both looked better and better. Much to Selene´s relief, the fever vanished from Mrs. Jasper and her breath calmed bown and relaxed to her normal, resting interval. The teacher smiled under tears in her sleep, even chuckling quietly. As well as her friend Star, who hummed in her sleep.

With a deep inhale, like that of a victoriously returning diver, Star woke up.

"Hnnnnnnnnn! Hey, Moon! Thanks for watching over us! Everything is going to be fine from now, even though, healing is not linear and takes time." Star stretched herself, yawning and hugged her friend tightly, then turned to the now soundly sleeping teacher, gently wiping her tears away and kissing her forehead.

"Whoah! I don´t know, WHAT you did there, but it was amazing! Look how healthy and happy Mrs. Jasper looks! Is it ok, that I go home now?"

"Of course! Wait! How long have I been out?"

"For almost a whole day? I was starting to get worried!" Selene furrowed her brows in confusion.

"Urrrgh, sh***! My head! That was a trip! I bet, our parents are worried sick! Go, before things get worse and when they ask, let them call me, ok?"

"Yes! Thanks!"

"Hey, no deal! It was an emergency after all..!"

"Will you go home, too?"

"NO! I will keep watch over Mrs. Jasper until she wakes up and I can be sure, that she´s REALLY ok!"

"See ya!", Selene Moonstone grabbed her things, unlocked the door and hurried out of the room.

A few moment moments later, Mrs. Jasper began to move. She took a deep breath, like after a hefty dive and slowly woke up, feeling a bit groogy and groaned.

"Ugh! Where...am I? What....How long have I been out?" She rubbed her temples in utter confusion, recalling the past hours, feeling like in a huge hangover. Slowly the teacher returned to her senses.

"We were gone for about a day. After you passed out on the desk, I knew, that it was serious, so Moon and I got you as much of a bed as possible and locked the door. Sorry, I was afraid, that someone might interrupt or even find out too much. Don´t worry, Moon didn´t and didn´t even ask anything. She just accepted, that took charge and hurried like that. I definitely owe her something!!"

"Your parents? Did they call? Are they too worried and upset, that you didn´t go home?"

"Maybe, but your safety and wellbeing took and takes higher priority right now! I hope, you´re better now!"

"Yes, I am! Actually, I haven´t slept this well in years! Thank you so much! I can´t tell you, how proud I am. You may be my student, but tonight you were more of a very good friend to me." The teacher turned her gaze to the window. It was quietly raining. "Even a bit like a .....sister!" She almost murmured.

Star could not really hear, what her teacher mumbled. She reached her out her hand towards her teacher. Latter took it and Star helped her up. Mrs. Jasper still stood a bit wonky on her feet, but she was otherwise she was okay again. Nothing that a relaxed weekend couldn´t solve. Quickly she and Star put back the matress, the pillows and the blankets into the hospital wing, talking and laughing .

"How will you get home? You still look a bit tired. I can bring you home. Before, we could have a cup of tea" Her teacher offered.

"That would be so nice, but what about you? You should sleep the whole weekend, and my parents..." Star blushed awkwardly.

"Don´t worry, I can talk to them, in case you don´t believe you and don´t worry about me, you´re not bothering at all! What could be better after all this than a good cup of tea?"

"You´re right! Thank you! We should show Moon, how much her help meant yesterday, without dragging the others into this. I just don´t know, how..."

"Let´s invite her to the local coffeeshop and just have a nice day together. By the way, it´s her birthday next week anyway, so that´s the perfect opportunity."

"Awesome!" Star answered with a bright smile.

* * *

 

After a nice tea, Mrs. Jasper brought Star home and explained her parents, that Star´s night at school was an emergency. She assured, that everything is done and solved and ok now. Before the parents could express their gratitude to the teacher, she left, tired, with a slight headache, a bit raw, but happy.

* * *

 


End file.
